Last Valentine’s Day, I introduced a slightly “taboo” subject about the ways to define a mother’s love for her son(s), and this year I’m back with another installment. As I mentioned last year, I understand that the love between a mother and son is a magical thing. It’s easy to see why a mom wouldn’t want her little boy to become a man overnight. The love that sons have for their mothers at a young age is so precious, it’s no revelation that women want to shout from the rooftops that their boys are the sweetest, most affection children ever born.

However, there’s a difference between being proud of that bond and being obsessed with it. Some women take their “mother’s love” and turn it into something that goes beyond your average Hallmark card. And with Facebook acting as a stand-in diary, they’re penning love notes to their sons or bragging about their “relationship” in status updates on a regular basis. I don’t think these women are feeling anything for their kids that other mothers don’t feel; they’re just choosing to express those feelings publicly, like a teenage boy standing on a cafeteria table in an ’80s movie. They want the world to know that their kid is their greatest creation, and that being a mother has opened their eyes to a different kind of love. So in honor of Valentine’s Day, I’ve compiled several examples that showcase what a mother’s love on Facebook really looks like. If you thought exhibiting love for a child was as simple as posting a picture with the caption “My little man!,” boy, are you wrong.

1. Crushes

STFU Parents

This is one of those status updates where the first two lines sound reasonable until you realize you’ve been set up. First, Lynelle thinks her kid is a miniature Matt Muenster. Then, Lynelle thinks her kid is going to grow up to be Matt Muenster. And THEN, Lynelle admits that she has a crush on Matt Muenster, which now just sounds creepy and weird. Should’ve stopped while she was ahead.