housewifeBeing a stay-at-home mom is boring. There I said it. Sorry if I’m offending anyone. If you’re a stay-at-home mom and you’re not bored to tears by  two p.m. everyday, good for you.

I’m reluctant to call myself a stay-at-home mom because I work from home and for the time being I am our family’s main provider. But working from home and having an infant and a toddler to care for means I’m home about 80 percent of the day – every day – so I think the shoe fits.

Believe me, boring does not equal easy. It is not easy being a full time care-giver to two kids. I guess I just always thought that not having to show up physically to a job would make me feel more free. It’s kind of had the opposite effect on me.

We moved out of New York a few months ago so we could get more for our money. We wanted a house, a car, and a yard. We wanted to stop hemorrhaging money every month  trying to keep up with the ridiculous cost of living in our neighborhood in Brooklyn. We realized that if we moved close to my family in Florida we would be able to live off of our creative hustles. I could bring in enough off of my freelance writing and my husband could travel back and forth to New York for his commercial work. Our family could actually live comfortably – with amenities we could never afford in Brooklyn. No more restaurant and bar work to supplement our income! Yay – right?

Wrong.

It turns out the work that I thought was such a thorn in my side was actually what was keeping me semi-sane. Six hours in a restaurant also meant six hours of adult conversation and a solid six hours out of the house. Toddlers are great and all, but their conversational skills suck. They are so damn self-centered. They never ask you how you are doing. It’s all gimme, gimme, me, me, me, Yo-Gabba-Gabba, blah, blah, blah. Don’t even get me started on infants. They’re just adorable, little cuddly-lumps of incessant, repetitive need.

What’s that honey? You’d like to read Tickle Time again? Awesome. Maybe after that I can make you the third plate of food you’ll turn your nose up at today – that will be fun. Then we can play that game where you dump literally every single toy in your drawers and toy chests on the floor and kick them all around the room. I’ll be sweating by then. It will be 11 a.m. Only 10 hours to go until I can pour myself a glass of wine.

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