Full disclosure: I 100% forgot these two even existed until today. Spencer Pratt, reality show alum, is talking about preparing to be a dad. And it’s going about as well as you’d expect! Spencer and his wife, Heidi Montag, are expecting their first child together. He recently appeared on the Allegedly with Theo Von and Matthew Cole Weiss podcast to dish on how he’s getting ready to welcome his son, and in true reality star fashion, has some…interesting priorities.

“I just would like my baby to be a professional content maker.”

Pratt says that when it came to picking a name, he and Heidi had some stipulations. One being, the name had to be available across social media platforms. Once they decided on a name, they created accounts for the baby. You know, the one who hasn’t even been born yet.

Missing paradise 🍹

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Spencer Pratt even admits that they had to change the name a couple of times, because they ones they chose weren’t available. Really though, when naming your children, what is more important: a name they’ll grow into and love, or one that makes a good hashtag?

The name is just the beginning: Spencer Pratt hopes to raise his son as a media savvy…baby? Toddler? He knows they can’t even hold their own heads up for a while, right?

Pratt is hoping to his son will follow in his footsteps in regards to fame (LOL). Says Spencer, “This kid will have an iPhone at birth. I’m gonna teach this kid how to Snap when they’re born, like, ‘Put your finger here.’” This kid hasn’t even been born yet and I already feel sorry for him.

lapis playa 📸@forestaragon @thefullestmag @nikkibostwick

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If you’ve ever wanted to watch a one-month old infant send a snap, you’re in luck! Spencer revealed that he and Heidi have a new reality show in the works, documenting their life as new parents. And if this podcast is any indication, it’s going to an absolute train wreck, like so many of them are. But hey, I’ll reserve judgement until the baby tweets out his thoughts.

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(Image: Instagram / @heidipratt)