There comes a time in a mother’s life when she no longer gets to tell her children what to wear. That usually comes pretty early. Maybe you have to roll over and let your 3-year-old go to school wearing Ninja Turtle underpants over her leggings. Definitely by high school you should back off a bit and let your kids express themselves. By the time a kid is in college, you officially get no say in what your kids wear at all. Nobody told this British mother on Say Yes to the Dress, though, because she seems to think that not only does she have the right to bitch and moan about her daughter’s style, but she gets to actually pick the dress herself because she’s the mom and she offered to pay for it.

On Say Yes to the Dress UK, 28-year-old Cassie Connor said that she was deeply, emotionally committed to wearing a giant, full-skirted princess dress to her upcoming wedding, which will be held in a farmhouse. She’s 28 years old and a professional makeup artist, so she’s probably got a pretty solid idea of her own personal style at this point, and she said she wanted to do something unexpected like wearing a full Cinderella dress instead of something vampy and sexy, which is what she feels is expected of her.

Her mother certainly expects it. Cassie’s mom, Zoe, described herself as very demanding and opinionated, which is almost never a good sign. She said she wants Cassie to wear something sexy and vampy that shows off how skinny she is.

“I don’t want to see Cassie in a big meringue style dress, I don’t think it will suit her,” she said. “If I don’t like the style of dress I will be very opinionated. If she picks a dress I really don’t like then she is not having that dress.”

Somehow she seems to have gotten the impression that a bride’s main concern on her wedding day is whether or not her mother thinks she looks sexy enough.

It sucks when someone turns a gift into an ultimatum. Offering to pay for Cassie’s dress should have been a sweet and loving and very generous gesture, but by using it to demand veto rights over the dress, she’s just turning it into control and making things unpleasant.

Fashion designer David Emanuel, who is most famous for having designed Princess Diana’s wedding dress and thus should be counted on to be Team Meringue, said that it was his job to mediate and find a style that would please both mother and daughter.

Wait, why? Like, seriously, why do any of them have to waste time finding a dress that Cassie’s mom likes? It’s Cassie’s wedding and Cassie’s body the dress is going on, and if she wants to look like Cinderella then her mom should just stop being an asshole about it.

After Cassie tried on one princess gown that she really liked, her mother was kind of a jerk about it to the cameras.

“If she chose this dress I would be devastated. I think it would ruin the day if she’s not wearing a dress I like.”

It’s not your day, honey.

I don’t understand why parents get bent out of shape about their kids’ weddings. I’ve seen parents start major rows because their kids were going to do something “tacky” like have a photobooth at the wedding, or have a basket full of flip-flops for if people wanted to take off their shoes. It’s like they think someone is judging them because of the fact that their daughter decided to get a spray tan or something. But nobody’s judging you because of your kids’ wedding choices. Or if someone is judging you because of your kids’ flip flops, then that person is not someone whose opinion should be given much weight.

And offering to buy a wedding dress and then making demands about what it looks like is rude. If you take someone to dinner, you don’t tell them they can’t order the salmon because they have to have the chicken instead.

In the end Cassie and her mom did find a dress they both liked. It has a full skirt for Cassie and a sexy, sheer illusion top with a built-in corset that her mom likes. (OK, I hate it, but it’s not my wedding either.)