Slim-Fast Has New Fat-Shamey Ads For You Wannabe MILFs Who Wanna Do The Reverse Cowgirl
Most women gain weight when pregnant. This is a normal occurrence considering you are growing a brand new person in your body and in order to grow this person your body requires extra nutrients. But when you are done growing this person you better put your fat ass on a diet because what you really want more than anything is for people to consider you a MILF or to be able to look like a Russian gymnast. Or so says Slim-Fast, the makers of those amazingly delicious diet shakes that taste vaguely like chocolate milk that has no chocolate in it with the mouth feel of liquified sawdust with a pleasant after-taste of artificial sweetener.
The campaign, entitled “Get What You Really Want” is brought to you by the douchebags creatives at agency The Bull-White House and is targeted women who want to lose 20 pounds or less not for health, but for less “honorable” reasons, or, as Unilever’s Slim-Fast Director Wes Boas explained to Ad Age:
“Slim-Fast wants to connect with the modern day woman.We want to get women laughing when they see our ads — laugh with Slim-Fast, laugh at dieting and have a laugh about themselves. We want them to say, ‘OMG that is soooo me.”
Did you guys watch the above ad and magically turn into a teenager who says stuff like “OMG that is sooo me” and rush out and buy a case of Slim-Fast? Didn’t think so. If you don’t want to be seen as a MILF, maybe you aspire to look like a Russian gymnast while doing the reverse cowgirl. Yeah, yeah, I know, most gymnasts are around 16 and weigh about 77 pounds, but this is a totally familiar aspiration all of us ladies have , especially after popping out a few kids.
The “look it up mom!” gotcha moment at the end is sort of amusing, but these ads are so sexist and problematic that it ruins any hint of a smirk I would have had at those .5 seconds. And the actress in the spot, who is probably a whopping size 12 or 14, has her bumbling husband all excited over the fact she said the word “Cowgirl.” But of course, “this isn’t happening” because everyone knows that women that size don’t have sex. Or maybe it’s just because her husband could stand to lose a few pounds himself and possibly procure a Rogaine prescription.
There ads aren’t targeted towards men, because new fathers never ever gain weight. And older fathers never gain a few pounds due to inactivity or a slower metabolism. It’s all about the ladies and how we all want to be thin so we can look sexier and have sexier sex. The idea of wanting to lose weight so you can feel better physically or for health reasons is just so passe. We need the edginess of the reverse cowgirl and the aspirations of being “moms who people want to fuck.”
There are many women who go on diets who do so because they want to lose weight because they think they would look better. Deciding to do this is a personal reason and I’m not going to judge women who want to do this, it’s your body and your self-image and it’s not my business. But I can be offended at these stupid ads that depict women in such a sexist, shallow way. Or, as I felt after watching these spots and checking out the print ads, OMG, these are soooo not me.
(Image: Slim-fast)
