Your Dusty Vagina Will Grow Cobwebs After You Have A Baby

There are a few rumors about adult life that are so effing annoying. I personally hate it when people refer to marriage as a “jail sentence” or a “ball and chain” with an eye roll and a wink. Are we all supposed to assume that we will start to lovingly resent our spouses just a few years after tying the knot? I don’t think so. Way to perpetuate annoying sitcom stereotypes, people.

In the same vein, parents are supposed to be stressed, tired, and at the end of their rope. All of these factors combined make parents sexless creatures that don’t have any time or energy to be horny. You feel me?

Of course, it can be utterly stressful and exhausting to have a new baby. You’re also supposed to wait six weeks postpartum to get your stretchy vagina back so that you can get back on the saddle again.

But what happens when these annoying stereotypes come true? I read some recent research that said as many as one in four couples stop sex forever after the birth of a child. 38% of women experience pain and soreness during sex after childbirth. One in five men has difficulty initiating sex with a partner.

I will concede that exhaustion, milky boobs, and a squishy stomach are hardly what sexual fantasies are made of. I also think that it is perfectly reasonable to expect a small dip in your sex life after baby until you get the hang of your new roles as parents and get back on your feet again.

I will not accept the annoying stereotype that parents never have sex. This certainly can’t be true because some parents just keep on having the babies (wink!). Sex may be difficult after a long day of cleaning up vomit and wiping poop stains off the wall as a #mommymartyr. But sex is just one more thing parents can do to feel like normal people again that exist outside the lives of their children. Contrary to popular belief, your vagina will not grow cobwebs after having a baby””unless you want it to.

(Image: lightwavemedia/Shutterstock)