‘Not-Racist’ Teacher Goes On Racist Rant About ‘Ghetto’ Trick-Or-Treaters And Hilarity Ensues

Social media. We all use it nowadays, and we often come to regret it. But probably not quite as much as Firestone High School employee and all around asshole David Spondike, the Akron music teacher who was recently put on paid leave for writing a racist rant on Facebook. How racist, you might ask? Well, it started with the infamous qualifier “I’m not racist, BUT…” so I bet you can guess. Spondike? More like Spon-dick, amirite? Right? No? I’ll go sit in my corner now.

Now, you might be thinking, how bad could one Facebook post really be? He is a teacher, he must not be a moron. You, my friends, would be wrong. This is one helluva racist rant:

“I don’t mind if you come to my neighborhood from the ghetto to trick-or-treat. But when you whip out your teeny dicks and piss on the telephone pole in front of my yard and a bunch of preschoolers and toddlers, you can take your n****r-ass back where it came from. I don’t have anything against anyone of any color, but n*****s, stay out!”

The post has since been taken down. In fact the entire racist rant laden Facebook page has been deactivated, which is probably a good thing. But not before he posted an update to the previous post (written after his epic douchebaggery went viral)

“There is a screenshot of a post floating around that is being used claim I am a racist. My position on race and racism has been posted and discussed here on many occasions and is exemplified on a daily basis in my life. I have always been clear and have never minced words on this issue. I have always confronted it head on and never behind peoples’ backs. Please do not expect me to be anything less than consistent today.”

The N-bomb was was conspicuously absent in this particular post, but Spondike wasn’t finished. He then went on to post the most hilarious non-apology apology for a racist rant ever written.

1. The post contains the ”n-word”.
2. I sincerely apologize to those who are sincerely offended by the post; it was promptly removed.

3. I am not going to say that ”someone hacked my Facebook page”, like most people do.
4. ”Racism” implies prejudging, which is clearly not what happened here.
5. Making any excuse for allowing one race to use a word and condemning another race for using the same word is institutionalized racism in and of itself, regardless of the justification used.

6. The incident surrounds the criminal behavior described below, where a teenager exposed himself in front of young children, urinating on a telephone pole in broad daylight during trick-or-treating.

Since Spondike teaches music and not, oh, I don’t know, history or social studies, I would almost be inclined to give him a break. Oh wait, no I’m not. There is so much wrong with this that my head is about to explode.

First of all, simply saying “I’m not racist but” not only doesn’t make you magically un-racist, but it’s a surefire way to spot a racist a mile away. Second, writing a “not-racist-but-actually-super-racist” rant on Facebook, where none of the target audience can read it is basically the definition of “behind peoples’ backs”. You know what the icing on the cake here is, though? This is far from the first time that our hero this asshat has been in trouble.

No siree, Old Spondike has been in trouble four (count em;) FOUR times since 2000 for unruly behavior, including throwing a chair in the classroom and spitting, allegedly. But you wanna know what the very best part is? Before becoming a music teacher, Spondike worked for the Jerry Springer Show. Yes, THAT Jerry Springer. You can’t make this shiz up.

Yes, it’s pretty awful when someone urinates in public, especially when there are kids around, but that is no excuse for this type of behavior. If the oh so #klassy Mr. Spondick Spondike doesn’t understand that, then I don’t think he should be a teacher. Now excuse me while I go pour a glass of wine to alleviate this rage headache.