83778866YOU GUYS! It’s our favorite thing ever! We haven’t gotten to do this in MONTHS and some of you may remember the last time we did when we all discussed that evil stepmother who threw the Christmas tree out the window and we also all learned our new favorite word, which is #BOLTHOLE. Well now The Daily Mail wins again by bringing us this magical tale of a mother of a nine-year-old daughter named Matilda who sends her kids to private school NOT because she wants her to be a learned business women, but because she wants her to be a stay-at-home mum.


OK, first of all, Rachel Ragg and her daughter look like the stock photo images I look for when I am trying to find 1980s people. I mean, sure, they are simply lovely people and all but they don’t look like they come from this decade at all unless these are how people look when they make statements like:

When I grow up I’m going to marry a rich man,’ she declared last week. ‘Then I’m going to have six children, two dogs and some ponies, and I’m going to live on a farm with a cottage for you in the garden.’

Which ya know, my kid says shit like this all the time except she adds in : and we will live in a castle and have a forest full of gum drops trees and a chocolate river and I will be queen of all the unicorns . 

Rachel goes on to explain:

But not because it will be her launching pad into a stellar career as a lawyer, doctor, or magazine editor. As we see it, Oxford is the ideal place for her to find a husband with the right background and career prospects to make enough money so Matilda can become a stay‑at-home mother.


Which ya know, that’s fine. Who really cares? If this is what she wants for her daughter’s future than I guess cool story ‘bro? BUT then she goes on to say:


Before feminists start howling with derision, let me explain.

I’m not sure her ambitions for her kid are going to make anyone howl with anything. I may not want this sort of life for my own daughter, someone else may want this life precisely, but are any of us going to freak out and become all enraged by this? Um, no.

Rachel goes on to tell us all about her career and how unhappy she was being a working women:

At the end of my final lecture in 2004, I told the female students: ‘Forget all this career nonsense — marry a rich man and have children while you’re young.’

Interestingly, the only people shocked by this were my colleagues: the young male ones and the ageing feminists.

‘You are a disgraceful role model to young women,’ a male colleague and one-time friend said angrily. ‘I thought you were intelligent,’ a female colleague added sadly.

Which, who talks like that? I keep envisioning some Snidely Whiplash dude shaking his fist:



Rachel whines some more about her own wasted life and continues writing fan fiction about what she wants for her own kid:

Then there’s the friend who gave up her teaching job when she married a wealthy stockbroker, and now lives with their five children, two dogs and several chickens in an idyllic house in the Cotswolds. I know whose life I want for Matilda.

It all feel like all of this could be solved if Rachel stopped going on Pinterest.

Matilda’s excellent education will, I hope, enable her to become the very best mother and wife she can be.

I am not just paying for her to learn Mandarin: I want her to be kind, generous, thoughtful and well-spoken. I want her to pass on her creativity, knowledge and intelligence to her children, not waste them climbing the career ladder.

I don’t want her to suffer the fate of my generation, miserably trying to juggle careers and home life before their relationships collapse.

‘Having it all’ is my aim for her. But if she is a full-time mother with a comfortable home and a prosperous husband by the time she is 25, that is the ‘all’ my girl could ever need.


I am not sure I get it. I think about my own kids and their futures, I think all parents do, but I don’t have anything planned for them beyond the fact I want them to have careers they enjoy, be happy and healthy and kind and able to feed themselves things other than Ramen noodles. I’ve never once planned out this sort of reality for my own daughter. I would like her to go to college, at least for a while. I would like her to be able to pay her rent. I would like it if she calls me on occasion. But if she has a career or is a stay-at-home mom or is never a mom – that’s all her decision to make. I will try and be supportive unless she is doing drugs or robbing banks.

Maybe I’m in the wrong here. Maybe good mothers think this way and I’m doing my kid a huge disservice by not wanting her to bag a rich dude so she can stay at home by the time she is 25. Or maybe I just feel like I’ve done what I wanted in my own life, so I want my own kid to be able to do the same.

(Image: getty images)