Woman Who Took Out Classified Ad To Find Child’s Father Is Already A Great Mom
Many new parents feel insecure in their role, and being told that you’re failing as a parent hurts, even when that judgement comes from strangers. But sometimes you need to trust your instincts as a parent and do what you think is right for your child, regardless of what others say. A pregnant woman faced the wrath of the internet when, after a one night stand, she placed an online ad to find the father of her child.
From the DailyMail comes the story of Bianca Fazey, a 25 year-old woman from Australia. In 2011 she was diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) and was told she was unlikely to ever become pregnant naturally. She met a guy named Jeremy one night last April, and after a one night stand, was surprised to discover she was pregnant. Because she wanted to become a mother, but had thought it wasn’t possible due to her infertility issues, Fazey decided to have the baby.
Fazey had limited information about her child’s father beyond his name, age and where he was from. Although Jeremy had given her his number, she didn’t save it, assuming they would never see each other again. Jeremy told Fazey he was a fly-in fly-out worker ( a position commonly found in Australian mining states where they fly workers into remote locations for periods of time rather then relocate the employees there permanently). She spent the next five months trying to track him down with no luck.
With the birth of her son approaching and her friends and family urging her to continue looking for her child’s father, Fazey put a notice on Gumtree, an online Australian classified ads and community site that is similar to CraigsList.
The listing, which you can see here, read in part:
I am looking for the guy, whose number I never saved thinking I would never see again and as it turns out… I have something that belongs to him.
I met a guy named Jeremy on the 23rd of April 2014 at Harlem Wednesdays. We ended up spending the night together and I ended up pregnant. So as my search for this guy has failed time and time again I have tried the Hotel (Rydges) we were in and that came up blank … I (sic) just going out on a limb here and hoping someone knows someone of this description. He was handsome, about 5’7’ish, in his 20’s (sic), brown hair, brown eyes, no tattoo’s (sic), very friendly and lovely gentleman.
Fazey included a photo of herself in the ad, “just in case he was as intoxicated as I was.”
Predictably, people responded to the ad not with helpful information, but with insults. There were creepers who saw Fazey’s picture and offered to be her child’s father, people who made judgments about her sexual activity and those how called for her to have an abortion.
The comments got so offensive that Fazey removed the listing. She told the Daily Mail that she wasn’t surprised by some of the comments but noted that no one mentioned that Jeremy was just as responsible for the pregnancy as she was.
Fazey has since given birth to a son named Logan. She still hopes to locate Jeremy, both so he know about his son and be involved if he wants to, and so that she will have answers for Logan when he’s old enough to ask questions about his father.
Life happens, and sometimes that means an unplanned pregnancy. Fazey chose to have the baby, and knew she faced judgment from strangers when she placed the ad seeking Jeremy. The fact that she put the listing up anyway shows her consideration for the father’s feelings and how willing she was to put her child’s needs first.
Being a mature adult means taking responsibility for your actions. Being a good parent means doing what’s best for your children. Despite what internet trolls who aren’t her position may say, Fazey passes with flying colors on both counts.
(image: pojoslaw/gettyimages.com)
