Unicorns are so hot right now, and we all love Lisa Frank. But if you REALLY love Lisa Frank, in a way that your unicorn Frappuccino just can’t sate, then you need new Passion Dust intimate sparkle capsules.
Passion Dust by Pretty Woman, Inc., is a little capsule of glitter designed to be inserted into the vagina like a sparkly suppository. Once the capsule dissolves, you become full of glitter and sugar, basically turning your vaginal fluids into a unicorn Frappuccino.
It’s made of gelatin capsules, starch-based glitter, acacia powder, Zea Mays starch, and vegetable stearate.
According to the Pretty Woman website: “The flavor is sweet like candy but not overly sweet, just enough to make your lover feel that your Yara (water-lady or little butterfly) is what all vaginas are supposed to look, feel and taste like; soft, sweet and magical!”
One hopes most lovers do not really think vaginas are “supposed” to be full of glitter and taste like sugar.
This product is meant for sex, but I think we can really use it to revolutionize birth photography. Just pop some up there when contractions start, and no longer will your baby come out looking covered in cream cheese. Now he’ll be a rainbow! It’ll be like entering the world in a Katy Perry video, and what could be better than that? (Note: This is a joke, please nobody actually do this without consulting a doctor.)
Glitter is forever.
The product has potential downsides, though. Anybody who has ever crafted with glitter knows that it gets everywhere and it never fully disappears. I spilled glitter in my parents’ house in 1988, and we’re still finding glitter every time the sun comes out. Glitter is forever. If a person uses this with a partner who has a beard or any type of facial hair or stubble, one can only imagine that partner is going to look like this for the rest of their life.
Work, graduation, grandma’s funeral … you’re going to need to come up with a good explanation for this.
(Image: Pretty Woman Inc.)