A cutesy little Christmas elf that plays peek-a-boo is flying off the shelves in the U.K., because the tongue-waggling little monster turns out to be the dirtiest, most inappropriate Christmas decoration anybody has ever seen.

According to The Sun, these Christmas elves are sold at UK grocery store ASDA. They are theoretically supposed to play peek-a-boo and say “Merry Christmas!” while sticking their tongues out. But the end result is not quite as innocent as expected. Check this out:

ASDA can’t keep these dirty little bastards on the shelves, and staff say tons of women are buying them and saying things like, “He’s got a bigger tongue than my husband.”

“Everyone is having a real good laugh at it, especially the lasses,” staff told The Sun. A reporter went to four stores to try to buy one, but they were all sold out.

This cheeky elf cannot possibly have been made by accident, right?

I know from experience that I am completely incapable of telling when a British person is joking or not, but I find the idea that someone made this toy by accident completely preposterous. Someone definitely knew what they were doing when they designed that toy.

Some people seem to think that women are buying these toys to actually use them to simulate oral sex.

“If that’s your fetish than go for it, each to their own,” one customer said. “I can believe that people are buying them for that reason. It’s the sort of thing you might do if you were drunk.”

That seems highly unlikely, though. The toy has a stuffed animal tongue, and it only waggles it for a few seconds. Sure, it’s suggestive as Hell. But as an actual sex toy it seems profoundly inadequate.

More likely, people are buying these toys because they think the idea of a tongue-waggling Christmas elf is completely hilarious. Grown-ups love it when kids’ toys are unintentionally inappropriate. When McDonald’s made a Happy Meal Minion toy that sounded like it was saying, “Fuck it!” adults everywhere started buying ridiculous numbers of Happy Meals.

(IMage: iStockPhoto / A-Basler)