As we embark on a new year, we’re celebrating Resolutions Week here at Mommyish. But adults aren’t the only ones who can vow to change in 2015. Here are 10 New Year’s resolutions from the mind of my 4-year-old kid. Let’s hope he sticks to every single one.
1. Zip all of my zippers all by myself.
Accept no help getting them started. It doesn’t matter if my mom says she’s so proud of me because I’m such a big boy but we’re running late so please can she please help me just this one time. No help ever.
2. Stay in diapers.
My parents say I have to wear underwear someday. They say I’m not going to college in diapers. But I say let’s try it! Let’s be trailblazers. No underwear in 2015.
3. Mess with my older brother as much as possible without getting in trouble.
Like, if he’s setting up a game to play by himself (because I can’t understand the rules and that is super frustrating for him), I will lie down right next to it and put my elbow so, so, so close to the pile of cards he’s set up, but not touching it, so he’s freaking out, screaming at me but there’s nothing my mom can do because technically I’m not doing anything wrong. And then when I stand up my elbow just sort of brushes the pile so it tips over, but it looks like an accident so I’m not getting a time out. And my brother is losing it. Just LOSING IT.
4. Put on my shoes even slower.
Just the other day I heard my mom whisper to my dad, “I don’t think it’s possible for him to put his shoes on any slower,” and I’m taking that as a personal challenge. It won’t be easy, but I believe I can do it.
5. Assemble a whole Lego kit myself.
Start to finish. And none of that Lego Junior BS. Okay, well, maybe I have to swallow my pride and start with a Junior. No one hates that more than I do but it’s important to be realistic when setting goals. Otherwise you’re just setting yourself up for failure. That came up in a podcast my mom was listening to while she was folding laundry the other day and I took it to heart. I just need to focus on the instructions. I mean, there are no words in those things, so yeah, I got this. If I need to take a break and cry during some steps, that’s okay! The important thing is that I dry my tears, complete the step that made me cry, and turn to the next page, which will have even more steps. Sometimes I really can’t believe how many steps there are, but in this manner I will build a Lego (Junior) kit. I’d better do it while my brother’s in school or he will hijack the whole thing. He’s like that.