Keep Your Kids Out Of The Toy Aisle! There’s A Cheaper – But Equally Obnoxious – New Furby!

Let’s all take a second and pray to whomever you choose for the sanity of parents everywhere. We are about to be tested. But if we stand together and support one another, we might make it through the latest Furby toy launch with our minds in tact.

That’s right my friends. There’s a new Furby coming to the market. This one is cheaper, and therefore more accessible. At $23, it fits is nicely to most people’s gifting budgets, which means that your childless older brother who wants to torture you with super obnoxious toys is sure to buy it for your child’s next birthday. (Either that or a drum set.)

So how is this Furby different from the $60 machine of annoyance currently locked away in a drawer somewhere in your house, hopefully where your kids won’t come across it? According to The New York Times:

There’s no animatronics and cheaper, backlighted lenticular eyes, designed to look like more expensive color eyes that move. They run on three AAA batteries and come in four varieties, complete with predetermined personalities and names like Loveby and Scoffby.

But don’t worry, these Furbies still have all of your favorite features. The more noise and movement they detect, the more they talk and sing in a creepy little language you can’t understand with a computer translator. They still interact with other Furbies and fit into the growing Furby merchandise line with clothing and furniture. Oh! And they still have your very favorite feature, no off switch.

I can admit that my daughter’s Furby was amusing for a day or so. Feeding it with the Android app was pretty cool. Making it go mean and devilish was funny. But after hearing it say, “Blah blah blah,” for the millionth time, I was ready to accidentally let our dogs tear Furby into a thousand little annoying pieces. Now, they’ve made a cheaper version of the most obnoxious toy in the world.

Parents, it’s time to tuck in and practice meditating.

(Photo: Target)