Mother’s Day Fail: I Ended Up In The Hospital While My Husband Was At A Bon Jovi Concert

Which spouse is having more fun the weekend of Mother’s Day 2009?

Husband: Handsome and youthful, he is enjoying some quality, wholesome time with his college buddies at a huge music festival in a balmy southern state. It’s the perfect bachelor party. Kings of Leon and Bon Jovi headline the festival that is the soundtrack to Husband’s life during this picturesque May weekend.

Wife: Equally attractive and only slightly older than Husband, she is left at home well north of the Mason Dixon line, where it’s basically still winter and all of her friends are out of town with their families. She’s seven and a half months pregnant (with their first), so her ankles have swelled to the size of one of the larger Great Plains states, and her mood is borderline neurotic (but that has nothing to do with pregnancy). She had dreamed about her first Mother’s Day and didn’t expect to be at home fielding calls from the ”amazing” amphitheater where Bon Jovi was belting out ”Living On A Prayer” loud enough that she could not even make out her husband’s words.

But that was probably a good thing.  Because, it turns out that when you are at a Bon Jovi outdoor concert, you are less concerned about Mother’s Day than your wife (aka the Mother of your child), who is at home doing kick counts to be sure the baby daughter is alive and well in the womb.

It also turns out that if you leave your pregnant wife at home all alone on her first Mother’s Day, she might have too much time on her hands.  She might start to worry about whether the baby is ok. God forbid, if that baby goes 15 minutes without jabbing Wife in the ribs, then Wife may start to panic.  With no one there to talk her off the ledge or get her some juice (or Coke) to induce the baby to do some jumping jacks, well maybe, just maybe, Wife will take herself to the emergency room and demand an ultra-sound and a non-stress test. She may try to call Husband from the hospital, but she might not. Maybe she’ll be mad that she has to drive herself and her unborn baby to the hospital.  Alone.  Maybe she will leave some sobbing, melodramatic messages on Husband’s cell phone during the finale of Bon Jovi’s ”mind-blowing” set.  Maybe she will forget to mention that everything is fine with the baby””actually the doctor on call said the baby was ”perfect,” but maybe Wife needs to relax a little bit.  The doctor’s exact words might be, ”You should pamper yourself. Have your husband pamper you. The hospital is no place for a Mother on Mother’s day.”

Exactly.

Three years later– Mother’s Day 2009 can still suck it.

 This is a reader submission for “Worst Mother’s Day” stories. Please send your story of about 600 words detailing your sucky Mother’s Day to entries[AT]mommyish[DOT]com.

(photo: Andrei Zveaghintev/ Shutterstock)