Our children are human beings. They’re unique individuals. That means that we don’t actually determine what they’re going to be like when they grow up. Sometimes, in spite of their best efforts, a wonderful person winds up with a horrible, shitty child. Fortunately, the inverse is also true, as in the case of this horrible, shitty mother of the bride who wants to kick her daughter’s “unsightly” best friend out of her daughter’s wedding.

This astonishingly horrible woman wrote in to Dear Prudence, somehow expecting to get Mallory Ortberg’s expert advice about how to convince her daughter to choose “the aesthetic of her wedding” over her best friend since childhood. Instead, her daughter hates her and the entire Internet thinks she’s a monster. (I’m starting a pool on how long it will take the Daily Mail to offer her a column.)

Awful woman wants to kick out bridesmaid for being “unsightly”

The mother wrote to Dear Prudence to say that her 27-year-old daughter is getting married soon, and her daughter wants her childhood best friend, Katie, to be her maid of honor. They’ve been best friends since they were four, and the mother says Katie “practically grew up in my house and is like a daughter to me.” Katie’s boyfriend is close with the groom, and this sounds like the recipe for a perfect, fairy-tale sort of wedding. Except Katie walks with a limp, and this terrible woman thinks that will “it will look unsightly if she’s in the wedding procession limping ahead of my daughter.”

The mother brought this up with her daughter and said maybe Katie should take a video or hand out programs so her limp doesn’t “ruin the aesthetic” of the wedding. The bride, not being a complete sociopath, hit the roof. She was horrified by the suggestion that she kick her best friend in the world out of the wedding party because she walked with a limp.

She’s surprised the bride is angry.

“My daughter is no longer speaking to me (we were never that close), but this is her big wedding and I want it to be perfect,” the mother wrote.

I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest that they’re probably not close because the mother is the type of person to care more about a big, “perfect” wedding than she is about the fact that her daughter isn’t speaking to her.

I feel terrible for the bride. Wedding planning is stressful enough without adding the epiphany that one’s mother is a monster. But she probably already knew her mother was awful. Nobody could hide this kind of shallow, narcissistic ableism for 27 years. At least the daughter seems to have grown up to be a reasonable, decent person.

This isn’t even the first time something like this has happened. Several years ago, a bride wrote to the previous Dear Prudence because her in-laws didn’t want her father to be at her wedding because he was a burn victim.

Weddings don’t make people horrible, but they sure seem to make horrible people think their awfulness is OK.

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever heard of someone doing at a wedding? Let us know in the comments.

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(Image: iStockPhoto / TatyanaGl)