Box cakes get a bad rap. Sure, they’re easy and anybody can do them and they won’t get you a ton of likes on Instagram, but a box cake will never horrify your children into a coma, and that’s a risk you take when  you try to make a cake too fancy. Take this cake fail, for example. This cake was supposed to look like Minnie Mouse. Instead, it’s a cautionary tale for cake-buying parents everywhere.

A nice Reddit user going by ehsan tried to buy a cake for a niece’s birthday. It … did not go well.

Minnie mouse cake fail

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Ehsan didn’t even try a Pinterest project that didn’t work out right. A real bakery was hired and everything! But not even the bakery could duplicate that pretty cake. Instead, Ehsan left with a cake that made minnie mouse look like … some kind of marble-vomiting bear.

How do you even hand this cake over, if you’re the baker? The baker had to know this didn’t look like the picture, right?

The commenters on Reddit were brutal.

“The cake’s shininess is the stuff of nightmares,” one said.

“It looks like someone has licked all over the icing,” another pointed out.

“It’s like putting a cake through Google translate. Yeah technically all the parts are there but it doesn’t make any sense.”

Best comment of all goes to this guy:

“The bakers suspected the OP was a Disney lawyer. After a knife fight in the kitchen, and the silencing of the dissenter who would not sacrifice his art for fear of jail time, the remaining bakers totally botched it on purpose so it had no resemblence to a Disney character. Little do they know, Jabba the Hutt is now a Disney Intellectual Property too. The papers are being drawn up as we speak.”

You know, Kroger sells a totally decent Minnie Mouse cake! True, it doesn’t have three tiers or look like a miniature wedding cake. But a little kid will like a Minnie Mouse cake with a printed, edible image from the Disney licensing collection just as much as they’ll like a three-tier Minnie wedding cake that probably cost $400, and they’ll certainly like it more than the atrocity that comes out when you try to buy a cake like that from someone who has no idea what they’re doing.

I hope Ehsan bought a sheet cake at the grocery store and ate this one at home in front of the TV.

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(H/T The Daily Meal, Image: iStockPhoto / :philinnz4)