Late Sunday night at a concert at Revel Resort’s Ovation Hall in Atlantic City Kanye West announced that he had put his penis inside of his girlfriend Kim Kardashian sometime in September and that she is now carrying his child. The rapper stopped his concert and told attendees:
“stop the music and make noise for my baby mama,”
And gestured to Kim who was in the audience. A mess of her family members (I am not sure what the correct plural is here. A gaggle of Kardashians? A klan of Kardashians? A mess of Kardashians?) then took to Twitter to say things like:
It should be noted that Kim is still in the middle of a divorce from Brooklyn Nets forward Kris Humphries, who she was married to for a whopping 72 days. Reports claim that Kim is about twelve weeks pregnant, which means that she has been knocked up for longer than her marriage to Humphries that cost around ten million dollars. Kimye started dating in April.
Now, yeah yeah yeah, it will be a beautiful baby and I’m sure this will result in a brand spankin’ new reality show starring Kim’s baby bump and the baby will be spoiled and will probably have an amazingly cool nursery art directed by Takashi Murakami for Louis Vuitton and the world will wait in anticipation to hear about the morning sickness and the baby weight gain and Kanye buying the unborn fur onesies, but the baby of the year will belong to a royal. And it’s hard for me to be supper supportive of this celebrity baby after Kim got rid of the adorable kitten Kanye purchased her for a gift because Kanye was allergic so they gave the kitten away and the kitten died. What if he decides he is allergic to changing diapers?
Even though you are a super famous celebrity couple you can’t upstage a royal baby. That baby is gonna be the best baby of all time. But I can’t help but think that due to all of the reports that Kim really wants to be BFF with Kate Middleton that we will get to hear all sorts of stories about how Kim will also have acute morning sickness and ooops, she may already be hinting at such via her website:
This was my first time seeing Lamar play for The Clippers! It was funny how everyone made a big deal about Bruce and my mom not sitting together, saying it was fueling these ridiculous divorce rumors. Well I got four court-side seats, so Kanye and I obviously sat in two of them and then we wanted Khloe up front too, since it’s her husband playing, and the mom joined us too. My mom got eight other seats right behind us for the family, where Bruce sat with everyone else. I started to feel a little ill (I caught the flu over the Christmas holidays!) so Kanye and I left at half time and Bruce came to the front and sat with my mom. It’s a simple as that! Not everything is as dramatic as the media make it out to be!
The Christmas flu obviously means morning sickness. So, congratulation to Kimye, but I’m still more excited about the royal baby.