Last night, lots of pretty young people got together for a little something called the MTV Video Music Awards. They were in LA celebrating their love for a vintage dying art form where musicians create a mini-movie to go with the songs you download on iTunes. Those movies are never really seen by anyone, but the exist out there in the ether somewhere. Quaint, right?
Anyways, Kevin Hart opened the awards ceremony as most comics do, with a little monologue that’s supposed to poke fun at the famous people without being cruel. Unless you’re Ricky Gervais and then your job is apparently to make as many people offended as possible. Hart’s bit was centered around the theme of making mistakes.
He mentioned the feud between Chris Brown and Drake, insisting that the whole thing was predicating on a recycling-induced misunderstanding. He talked about Kristen Stewart and how we all just need to get over it. (Agreed, there!) And then he talked about Snooki.
Here’s what Hart had to say about the new mother and her fiance,
“Congratulations Snooki, everyone knows you’ve been wantin’ a bun in the oven for a while, Fod God’s sake you’ve been cooking your skin for the last ten years… Here’s my thing. Snooki didn’t make a mistake, but her baby daddy did. Let me tell you how. The baby daddy thought he was going to get a little nookie from Snooki, mess around and now he got stuck. Now he’s sitting at home like, ‘What the fuck.’ Here’s the thing, Snooki, don’t do nothin crazy with that baby, like spray paint it orange or give a hairstyle like all those guys from Jersey Shore do. It’s a baby. Don’t go down that road. That’s my advice to you. And more importantly, Congratulations.”
Look, I realize that Kevin Hart is a comedian. It’s his job to make fun of people. But I have to admit that I don’t find the idea that the woman wanted the baby and the dad just wanted to get laid all that amusing. And really, I don’t think that Kevin Hart was trying to make a joke. I think he was commenting on something he believes to be true.
It’s actually a pretty common sentiment. People assume that women just really want babies and dads are drug along for the ride with absolutely no choice in the matter. Jionni LaValle has never said anything but how happy he is to be a dad. He seems actively involved with his fiance and their new child. And yet, Hart’s assertion that this guy “got stuck” will probably sound about right to plenty of people.
I hate to get all serious about a joke at an awards show, but the idea that men are just dragged in to parenthood by women is part of the reason that we have so many partners out there not taking responsibility for their kids. “Every woman wants a baby and every man wants to get laid without consequences.” That’s not a joke, it’s an extremely tired cliche.
If we’re talking about mistakes made at the VMAs last night, giving Kevin Hart a microphone might be the first one.