Weight Watchers Is Pissed That They Won't Be Getting More Mileage Out Of Jessica Simpson's Post-Pregnancy Body

Poor Weight Watchers. All the execs at the company should have t-shirts made that say, “we paid $3 million and all we got were two lousy commercials.” So much for exploiting Jessica Simpson’s newly thin body.

“No one wants to hear about a pregnant woman dieting,” a source told Us Weeklythis week. They were speaking about Simpson’s second Weight Watchers campaign, celebrating her 70 pound weight loss. These are the commercials they have been waiting to air. The first round, shot from the waist up because she hadn’t lost enough weight yet, definitely wasn’t exploitive enough. They did a great job hiding her initially slow weight loss from all of us common folk who could have probably really benefited from seeing a real post-pregnancy body on a celebrity for once.

Personally, I hate the fact that Weight Watcher’s favorite strategy seems to be shaming new moms that can’t get their shit together. I mean, we realize you have a whole human baby to care for – but you really should be thinking about getting back into those skinny jeans. If you can’t find the time to measure and chart every single bite you put into your mouth while taking care of a newborn, what kind of a mother are you?

If Weight Watchers is going to sell post-partum women on this fantasy, they are going to have to customize their website a little. Is breastfeeding on your activity list? How many points do I get for that? How about walking up to my fourth floor apartment, with the Baby Bjorn strapped to my torso, and a handful of groceries. How many activity points for that? How many points in approximately a half a handful of elbow pasta I picked off the floor? Oh, also – can you please add toddler treats to your food lists? I can’t find how many points are in an Earths Best teething cracker anywhere.

I’m sure her quick pregnancy wasn’t planned – but I’m glad that it happened. I’m sick of Weight Watchers using celebrities with all the means for fast weight loss at their disposal – celebrity trainers, live-in chefs – to convince the average woman that their plan is the means to an unrealistically speedy end.

Sorry, Weight Watchers. Maybe there should have been a “breeding is forbidden” clause in her $3 million contract.

(photo: Jaguar PS/ Shutterstock.com)