Jessica Simpson has been getting flack since her “Chicken of the Sea” days for everything from her singing, to her outfits, to her body. Now she’s a parent and a business mogul (every celebrity had a fashion line in the early 2000s, but Jessica Simpson’s is worth more than a billion), and the nasty comments aren’t going to stop any time soon. Yesterday Jessica Simpson made the tragic mistake of posting a cute photo of her five-year-old daughter, Maxwell, to Instagram. Maxwell was riding a scooter and wearing a helmet and posing like she was having the best day ever, but now the Internet is losing its damned mind, because Maxwell was also wearing a bikini, and there’s nothing the Internet hates more than little girls in bikinis. 

Maxwell looks adorable in that picture! She’s wearing a helmet and riding a scooter, and her bikini is not inappropriate for a child her age. It’s frilly and pastel and it’s not like she’s wearing a black leather triangle-top or push-up bra.

The color scheme on Maxwell’s bikini is particularly cute. The pink shading to blue reminds me of Lisa Frank. I’d have been all over that bathing suit when I was her age. She’s playing at her house and wearing a bikini and looks to be having fun. None of this is inappropriate.

One-pieces can be inconvenient for little kids, too. When you have to go to the bathroom, it’s much easier to just pull down some bikini bottoms than to have to un-stick a cold, wet bathing suit from your whole body. And there’s nothing worse than putting a cold, wet bathing suit back on.

But still, the commenters insist that Maxwell is “showing too much skin.”

“That is way too much skin for a kid. Also, why is she in a bikini riding a scooter?”

Because it’s California and she’s at her house? Why wouldn’t she ride a scooter in a bikini? She has shoes and a helmet on. Anything else is a win.

“Please stop. She’s too beautiful and sweet to think of herself this way, or to be presented this way,” one concerned mother wrote

One Instagram busybody even suggested Jessica Simpson needs to be investigated by child protective services:

“This child is only acting like the mother. Shes sees her mom poseing with arm in the air, kid is going to copy that. It’s all ridiculous. Stinking vanity being handed down. This woman needs to grow some brains and discernment. You dont exploit young children in bathing suits all over social media. Maybe social services need to take a closer look at the home life. Give her a stern warning. The whole family lacks common sence.”

“With all the predators out there I wish she hadn’t posted these provocative poses in a bikini online,” wrote one user.

Provocative poses? She’s five. She just looks like she’s having fun. There’s nothing sexual about a 5-year-old’s belly button.

(Image: Instagram / Jessica Simpson)