Are You There, Moms? It’s Me, Idiot What Makes You Jealous Of Other Parents?

Are You There, Moms? It’s Me, Idiot is an ongoing series dedicated to helping one very well-intentioned and dumb future-parent learn about the world of childrearing. Click here to see past columns.

Can you all indulge me for a second and talk to me about jealousy?

I know that jealousy is a pretty ugly emotion, and it’s something I’ve unfortunately felt in various periods far too often in my life. I covet people’s nice things, their shiny hair, fancy apartments, well defined calf muscles, cool jobs, or seemingly easy lives, which is a waste of time. The notion that people have nicer, better, shinier lives than I have is always based entirely around some superficial observation, even though I know that’s far from a complete picture of the truth. I know the grass is always greenerat least in the rational part of my head.

But the irrational part of my brain is unfortunately occasionally louder than the rational part, which means I spend all too much time seething and not enough time caring about things that matter. I can’t be the only onetell me you all get jealous, too. Tell me I’m not the only petty one over here. Please?

Given the undeniable struggles of being/becoming a parent, I would imagine it’s pretty damn difficult to watch people who look like they don’t struggle at all. So what gets you going? People who have more resources (money, cars, childcare, a bigger house)? People with healthy children, who will never have to go through what it’s like to raise a child who’s chronically ill? All parents, in general? Let me have it.

Photo: Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret