If Stay At Home Moms Had Business Cards

Business cards are a big deal in Japan. There are etiquette rules about the proper way to exchange business cards, how to read them and how long to wait before you put the card away. Stay at home moms were spared the task of navigating these tricky etiquette rules until recently, when exchanging “mama cards” with fellow SAHMs became a thing.

Rocketnews24 tells the complicated tale of how these cards are causing conflicts in some circles. In what could surely be a plot line in Mean Girls II: Regina Takes Over The PTA, when one mom didn’t exchange mommy business cards with another mother, but exchanged them with all the other moms at ballet class, the child of the slighted mom became so upset she stopped going to ballet class. The ballet school had to forbid moms from exchanging the cards altogether to avoid anyone else having their feelings hurt.

Another mom told RocketNews24 she had made her own mommy business cards at home, but when she saw another mom’s professionally printed cards, complete with her husband’s place of employment, DIY mom felt too embarrassed to offer her card to the other mom.

Despite the potential for feeling like a Pinterest failure or not being one of the cool kids who gets offered a ton of cards, this isn’t an awful idea. Having a business card to exchange with fellow moms could be really useful. It would eliminate that awkward part of the conversation where you both pause to see if the other will be the one to suggest you exchange numbers and avoid the uncomfortable moment of deciding whether to hand a stranger your phone or ask them to spell their last name out for you.

If we could all agree to be brutally honest when drafting our own SAHM business cards, we would save ourselves time by knowing at a glance if this friendship is going to work out. Here’s a peek at what I envision these realistic SAHM business cards to look like:

She’s never anything but perfectly nice to you, but the way she manages to pull off that bright red lipstick without a single smudge is super intimidating. Maybe one day you’ll work up the nerve to ask her to go shopping with you.

You see her every weekend at games, so there’s no avoiding her or her demands for oranges that are cut into precisely eight sections. Lucky for you, your kid is way better at soccer, placing her firmly in the frienemy category.

Now you know exactly who to ask when you want to know what stroller gets the best ratings, and who to avoid when you want to talk about the latest episode of The Bachelor.