With springtime rapidly approaching, many of us will undoubtedly find ourselves at the childhood mecca known as the playground. As delightful as it is for the kiddos, many moms will inevitably leave stressed and exhausted. Recently, I made my own list as to why that may be. So for all of us that often leave with the need for a drink (or ten), I present seven things I hate about the playground:
My least favorite apparatuses are the ones that are high up. Oh, and have hard surfaces. Which basically means I hate every one of them with the exception of the swings. I love the swings as I am in total control of the situation. Steps scare me as well. I am one of those neurotic moms that shadow her kids until they are about ten years old. I can’t help it; I have seen kids get really hurt running too fast and then falling. I prefer safer places to play. I frequently take my kids to a little botanical garden near my home and let them frolic. I love the garden. A beautiful and safe open space for the kids to run around in. We often have picnics there as well. The only problem that I face is my kids eventually get a little bored and ask to go to the playground. They want the fun stuff. I just tell them that the playground is closed for the holidays and won’t open until next year. A harmless lie never hurt anybody. However, they are four and two years old and have already figured out that their mom is completely full of it. So, it is off to the playground we go.
I will freely admit that as I have gotten older, I have definitely become more germ phobic. To be honest, I don’t really like using the restroom anywhere but in the own comfort of my home. I am not sure how and when this developed, but it did. As a child, I was one of those kids that could hold it in all day long. Thinking back, it wasn’t the healthiest thing to do, but it kept me out of public restrooms altogether. Park restrooms are notoriously gross in my neck of the woods. The whole avoiding of the restroom business becomes almost impossible during potty training. When my daughter was in the midst of her training, I was conflicted on whether I should avoid the playground altogether. Instead, I frequently gave her a pull- up to wear, which just prolonged the process. Now she is fully trained, so I need not worry. Until it is time to train my son. When it is his turn, I plan to point him to the nearest tree. Boys are easier that way.
There is just something so intimidating about seeing a bunch of women in a pack. It is a rarity to see these women by themselves; they are almost always together. It definitely brings me back to my high school days. Every time I see them my blood pressure shoots up a bit. In reality, most of these women are probably very nice, but I am way too shy. And insecure. So, I generally keep to myself or occasionally meet up with another mommy friend. I am often too busy chasing my kids on the scary apparatuses to make small talk anyways.