What’s with people and the “pumpkins giving birth” trend? Do they actually think that the fleshy mass of pumpkin seeds and flesh resembles what comes out of a woman’s uterus during childbirth? Or are they just bored by your run-of-the-mill goofy jack-o-lantern grin? I’m confused.

In an effort to bring you all some inspiration to carve pumpkins I stumbled upon this nightmare craft — carving pumpkins to resemble women giving birth. You’re welcome! The internet is a strange, strange place. Let me be your guide.

1. What’s happening here?

pumpkins giving birth

(photo: Pinterest/ iVillage)

I don’t understand what’s happening here. Why is the baby popping out of mom’s belly – but all of that other shit is coming out of her pumpkin vagina? One of us is confused about what happens during a c-section. It could totally be me.

2. There’s so much going on here. Pumpkins giving birth has jumped the shark to include zucchini.

pumpkins giving birth

(photo: Pinterest/ Shawna Jameson)

Fan-cy! She’s got impressive eyelashes and a silk scarf. She went into labor at the opera. One of our contributing writers thinks she has the same nursing bra. This person really went all out.

3. It’s a festive tablescape!

pumpkins giving birth

(photo: Pinterest/ iVillage)

Does anyone else get the feeling this person waits for Halloween every year just to make this monstrosity?

4. It’s Georgia O-Keefe meets Alien meets Halloween.

pumpkins giving birth

(photo: pregnantchicken)

Why?