It must be tough to be a celebrity publicist. One minute you’re minding your own business, looking at pictures of owls on Pinterest, then next thing you know, your famous client touches her stomach on a red carpet, and you’re going to spend the week of the day addressing pregnancy rumors. That’s the world Halle Berry’s publicist woke up to after Oscar-winner Halle Berry appeared in a body-skimming holographic sequin dress at the 16th annual Chrysalis Butterfly Ball in Los Angeles last night, and everyone immediately started playing spot-the-baby-bump.

Most people’s bellies are not perfectly flat, but we’re so used to celebrities with 24/7 washboard abs that if a woman appears on a red carpet with any sort of curve to her stomach, clearly she must be pregnant.

Also Halle Berry touched her stomach, and as we all know there’s literally no reason to touch your stomach unless you’re trying to announce a baby. It’s like semaphore for celebrity baby announcements.

Speculation about the baby’s father abounded, because just a week ago Berry posted an Instagram photo  of herself wearing a T-shirt that said “No more boyfriends.”

Summer's coming… let's shine up our crowns ladies! Let's do it like @justmike_

A post shared by Halle Berry (@halleberry) on

Another thing to notice might be that when Berry posted that photo a week ago, she had the flattest abs any human being has ever seen. That might have been a tip-off to the fact that Berry is not actually pregnant, which her publicist just confirmed to Refinery 29 and the New York Post.

While her publicist is issuing politely worded professional statements about the contents of her client’s uterus, Halle Berry herself is being hilarious about it. She posted a glamorous but fed-up looking photo of herself to Instagram with the caption, “Can a girl have some steak and fries??”

Can a girl have some steak and fries?? 🙄😉

A post shared by Halle Berry (@halleberry) on

Halle Berry is not pregnant. She’s just a human woman whose body sometimes looks different depending on dress, camera angle, and what she ate that day. And she seems pretty annoyed by all this belly-watching.

Didn’t people ever learn not to diagnose pregnancy in random women? Unless you have an ultrasound machine in your camera lens, diagnosing a fetus based on how she looks in a tight-fitting dress is just a recipe for embarrassment for everybody involved.

(Image: Instagram / HalleBerry)