It’s still cold here, but we don’t really have spring, so it’ll be 100 goddamn degrees before I know it. So I need to start thinking of ways to stay cool this summer! And after seeing this giant unicorn sprinkler, it is all I can think of and I will move heaven and earth to find one. The sprinkler is made by Big Mouth Inc., the same company that brought us so much joy in the form of giant, whimsical pool floats. But this … this sprinkler is a thing of magical beauty.

unicorn GIF

Image: Giphy

The giant unicorn sprinkler is REALLY giant. It stands over 7 feet tall, you guys.

giant unicorn sprinkler

Image: Big Mouth Inc.

The inflatable sprinkler attaches to any standard garden hose. And the best part? It sprays water OUT OF ITS HORN. It’s seriously the best thing I’ve ever seen. I don’t even think I will share it with my kids, this is a mama-only lawn toy. Just sit my ass under the horn with an adult beverage and don’t bother me for 2 hours.

Because the universe is conspiring to make me unhappy, the unicorn appears to be sold out … pretty much everywhere. But I will find one, OH YES. I will. If unicorns aren’t your thing or you can’t imagine driving 2 hours for an inflatable lawn toy, they also have an elephant!

giant unicorn sprinkler

Image: Big Mouth Inc.

Ahhhhhhhdorable. Or, if you want something a little scarier, maybe to keep the weird neighbor kids away, the dinosaur is perfect.

giant unicorn sprinkler

Image: Big Mouth Inc.

Those dino brows really say, “Get off my lawn!”

You can find Big Mouth Inc. products on their website, and at various retailers like Target, Walmart, Amazon, and Toys-R-Us. The giant sprinklers retail for $49.99. So get a head start on your summer and grab one. Or all three. I freaking love unicorns, so I will be on the hunt for the giant unicorn sprinkler. I need something to match my toilet paper, obviously.

(Image: Big Mouth Inc.)