Planning Your Second Kid’s 1st Birthday Will Prove What A Slacker Mom You’ve Become

First birthdays are a point of contention between parents who think they should be celebrated on a yacht with a cake made of actual gold and parents who, well, don’t. Regardless of what you choose, though, they’re still emblematic of a really exciting milestone (one year!) and it’s fun to have that chance to celebrate your baby.

I didn’t go insane for my eldest child’s first birthday, but I did do way more than I logically knew I should. Now, I’m approaching my second child’s first birthday and while I’m still really enthusiastic about it, I’m finding I have less of a desire to handcraft an artisanal surf board and ride the Pinterest wave. Is this the notorious Second Child Syndrome I’ve heard so much about? Could be. Here’s all the ways baby number two’s first birthday party will differ from his or her older sibling’s:

First kid: You want to order a special cake plus an adorable matching smash cake, preferably one that will photograph well. You know it’s silly, but it’s a special occasion. You also want to decorate the high chair. This will be your baby’s very first taste of sugar, so you’re nervous about how they’ll react. You briefly contemplate making some weird sugar-less vegetable cake or something, but ultimately decide you need to let them live a little. Just this once.

Second kid: What’s wrong with Pilsbury confetti cake mix again? You can just cut off a big chunk. There’s your smash cake. The baby probably won’t even care that much since they already had some of their sibling’s birthday cake four months ago and secret brownies at grandma’s every time they’ve visited since they started solids. Oops.

First kid: You buy a variety of age-appropriate toys and wrap them in pretty paper so the baby will know they’re “special” toys, even though they have no idea what’s going on. They also get a dozen toys from each grandparent, aunt, uncle, and friend of the family. Sure, it seems extreme, but this is a big day! It totally requires one Fisher Price item for every day they’ve been alive.

Second kid: You buy two or three things they might like and present them unwrapped and already removed from their packaging. You tell friends and family gifts are welcome but not required. They don’t really need a lot because they have a ton of barely used toys handed down from their older sibling and honestly they’d rather just sit in front of the wall trying to figure out how to remove the outlet covers for an hour anyway.

First kid: You pick a theme, find a bunch of cute stuff to make on Pinterest, and spend $60 on craft supplies to make perfect little wall-hangings and table toppers. You also get a ton of balloons because the baby will think they’re amazing.

Second kid: You never knew Target had such a wide variety of streamers! You buy a few little things to tack up and a reusable felt “happy birthday” banner and call it a day. Balloons are a pain in the ass to pop and you remember reading something about a helium shortage like a year ago, so that probably still applies and also why bother?

First kid: You invite friends and family to celebrate your child’s special day. You send out invitations and put the baby in a special outfit and take tons of pictures. Most people think first birthday parties are sort of lame, but you’re sure yours is different. After all, you’re a cool mom! You’re not going overboard! People are happy to be here eating your fruit kabobs in homemade yogurt sauce and watching your baby not give a shit.

Second kid: The grandparents are coming over for cake and you might order a pizza. Maybe you’ll go to the park or something. You can keep it low key. After all, it’s only a first birthday.

(Photo: Shutterstock)