When we’re young and fresh-faced and eager, we can’t wait to grow up! Being an adult seems like so much fun. You get to do whatever you want, stay up late, eat junk food for dinner. And then, we actually do grow up. And we figure out the cold, hard truth: being an adult is the actual worst. Turns out, we can’t really do whatever we want, because we have jobs and responsibilities, and oh! Did I mention how much everything fucking COSTS?! Sure, you can have junk food for dinner, and you’ll pay for it for a damn week with gas and bloat. Kids and teens have no idea, and if they did, they wouldn’t be in such a goddamn hurry to get here. People on Twitter are sharing their first adult words, and it’s hilarious to see when they knew they’d finally made it.
Your first adult words are the ones you spoke and then realized immediately that you were officially a grown-up. Spoiler alert: they’re all stuff we SWORE we’d never say.
— Just call me Alice (@AMUSINGALICE28) April 11, 2018
Me at 20: Hell yeah I’ll go to Tijuana with you tonight! But we have to be back by 6 a.m., I work at 7. Me at 36: OMG, is it already 9 p.m.?! I have to get to bed!
Wait, I’ve got a coupon… #MyFirstAdultWords
— CK (@charley_ck14) April 11, 2018
OK, this one actually brings me joy. I plan an extra 10 minutes into every Target trip so I have enough time to scan everything in my cart to see if there’s a Cartwheel. 5% off, score!
#MyFirstAdultWords We don't need to stop for something to eat, we have food at home.
— Celanie (@Fancy7Pants) April 11, 2018
The only problem with this one is that someone needs to make the food at home. Guess what, grown-up? It you.
— Ashley Brewer (@ashleybre35) April 11, 2018
When you reach peak adult, you know that escalating your grievance is the way to go.
Shut the door! You trying to air condition the whole neighborhood?#MyFirstAdultWords
— Joolie Shamoolie (@JoolieShamoolie) April 11, 2018
My dad used to say this all the time and it drove me crazy. And then I paid my first summer utility bill as an adult and now I seal all the windows and lock the doors in the summer so my kids can’t open them.
Are you in or out of network?
— Aissa👽 (@aissalanis) April 11, 2018
Listen, this is the difference between a $40 copay and a $4000 bill. Ask this damn question.
Why are they blaring music, IT’S 9PM #MyFirstAdultWords
— ALEX (@itsalexvance) April 11, 2018
Every time my neighbors have a party, I go full “get off my lawn”. Some of us have work in the morning, KAREN.
It’s definitely worth your time to peruse the My First Adult Words hashtag on Twitter. You’ll laugh, you’ll harrumph, you’ll realize very quickly that you are, in fact, a grumpy grown-up. Growing up is the worst, but we still get to eat junk food for dinner if we want. Just make sure you have enough Tums.