13 Favorite Childhood Cartoons And What They Say About Your Parenting Style

Saturday morning cartoons are officially a thing of the past, and I’m a little sad about it even though I haven’t been awake early enough to see one since 1998. Sure, our kids have Netflix and Hulu, but those TV shows were a formative part of our childhoods. In fact, they say a lot about who we are now. Here’s what your favorite cartoon growing up says about your parenting style.

1. Schoolhouse Rock

You are a total Tiger Mom. Your child’s lullaby is the alphabet, and her only toys are made of wood and from Europe. You bought her a Visible Man figurine once to see if a plastic toy could really be educational, but then your child dressed him up in toilet paper dresses and named him Barbie, so you put a stop to that. The only show your kid watches is House of Cards.

2. Jem

You’re a dreamer, and all your dreams involve your child winning The Voice and telling everyone it’s because of your love and support. Your favorite TV show now is Dance Moms. You like to watch it with a tumbler of wine and laugh at how uncoordinated and undisciplined all the children are. Your child’s secret dream is to grow up, move to Seattle, and give cats nail art.

3. X-Men

You’re pretty sure your kid is gifted. You’re not like one of those weird Indigo Child parents, but you’re pretty sure your kid is going to solve the energy crisis. You spend a whole lot of time daydreaming about going back in time and giving life advice to your younger self.

4. The Real Ghostbusters

All the kids at school love you and your upcycled sweaters, but their parents think you’re totally crazypants. It’s OK though, because they just don’t get you yet. You like everything before it was cool. You liked microbrews and toast before they were hipster things, and you were the first person in America to buy an iPod. (And you still have it, because you don’t throw things away.)

5. Reboot

You wanted to go to MIT and may well have done so. You feel strangely proprietary over Pixar. Your child eats beautifully but is a real pain about sleeping, and you plan on encouraging a healthy distrust of The Man because of how much better this show got when it got canceled.

6. Transformers

You’re a sports mom. That sport might be shuffleboard, but you take it really seriously. You drive an SUV with a minivan attached to the trailer hookup, and you have mastered the art of the loyalty card stamp collection. If the apocalypse happened tomorrow, your family would eat like kings on a duffle bag full of pretzel sticks and goldfish crackers.

7. G.I. Joe

You expect me to say that you’re a military mom, but you’re actually the room mom at your kid’s school. You love fairy tales and any kind of allegory. You have very strong feelings about Common Core and you love action but can’t stand the sight of blood. You once caught your kid wiping her nose on the dog, and you thought, “At least she’s wiping it for once.”

8. He-Man or She-Ra

You’re a cool mom. Your kid watches Game of Thrones, even though your kid is not yet 10. It has been 10 years since you last went a day without stepping on Lego. Your kid thinks you have a goldfish that has been alive for eight years, but really you have just had a shitton of goldfish and a kid who believes goldfish sleep upside down sometimes.

9. Gummy Bears

After finishing your music degree, you got really into whole foods and juice cleanses. Your kid is not allowed to have processed foods, and you consider “chopping” to be processing. You don’t understand why other parents say they don’t get time to themselves, because you can finish a two-hour pilates DVD every night while your child gnaws through his whole-coconut dinner. You’re pretty sure all illnesses can be cured by breast milk and coconut oil.

10. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Your kid is your best friend, next to your pumpkin spice latte and your yoga pants. Your favorite TV show now is The Big Bang Theory, and your kid’s favorite toys are American Girl and Rainbow Loom. You guys get along so well. Other parents are jealous, and not just because you’re the hot mom on the school run.

11. Dungeons and Dragons

You view your own childhood with rosy glasses and want everything for your kids to be exactly the same. Your kid does not understand the point of his Cabbage Patch Doll, Stretch Armstrong, or Nintendo 64, and your partner does not understand why you mortgaged the house for 80s toys and GenCon tickets.

13. Care Bears 

You’ve watched Care Bears recently, and that show holds up. You love kindness and sunshine as much as you love sales. You believe in honesty above all other things, even if that means that you once saw Gillian Flynn at a reading and told her Gone Girl was terrible “because it wasn’t cheery at all.” Your kid is constantly getting away with things, because you are the most gullible person alive.

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