It’s four days past Halloween, and I’ve never related to anything as much as I am relating to this raccoon that ate too much junk food and got stuck in a sewer grate in Illinois.

The City of Zion Police Department posted photos of the raccoon to Facebook.

“It seems this little guy has been eating a little too well and got caught in the sewer grate,” they wrote.

raccoon stuck in sewer grate

City of Zion Illinois Police Department

Raccoon stuck in sewer grate

City of Zion Illinois Police Department

Animal control and police were unable to free the raccoon, so they called Public Works to handle the grate. They were able to free the raccoon, who is reportedly doing just fine.

Raccoon stuck in sewer grate

City of Zion Illinois Police Department

“They were able to free him and our friend was no worse for wear, the police department wrote. “Check out the photos and see if Ofc. Vaughn is more scared of the raccoon than it is of him! All in good fun, nice save Ofc. Vaughn.”

It’s a cute raccoon with a bizarre story that ends happily, and it’s the Internet’s new favorite animal.

I’m pretty sure this stuck raccoon is my patronus right now. Halloween is the best holiday, but it’s also the start of a months-long food coma. I mean, I consider it my ethical duty to eat as much of my kid’s Halloween candy as possible. She’s barely three and someone gave her a King-sized Twix bar! There’s no situation in which I’m going to let a three-year-old eat a candy bar that big.

When kids are bigger, it’s bad form to steal their Halloween candy. Clearly the only option is for me to fall on that grenade and scarf it all after she goes to bed. (My husband can’t help because he is currently taking care of all the candy we bought and forgot to put out for other kids before we went trick-or-treating.)

It’s also recipe-testing season. I made two different macaroni and cheeses this week before being informed that my sister’s sister-in-law had claimed macaroni and cheese this year, so now I’m back to the drawing board, and the drawing board is 50 different stuffing recipes. I’m so full I feel like I need Officer Vaughan to come rescue me from my sofa.

Who else is full of Peanut Butter Cups right now? Let us know in the comments.

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(H/T SomeECards, Image: iStockPhoto / amadeusamse)