The Most Embarrassing Things Your Kids Have Ever Done
Earlier this week, I asked you what the most embarrassing thing your child ever did was, and then I totally ignored you because I was busy loading everything that we own either into a gigantic shipping container or, later in the day, a huge bonfire where I sacrificed a bunch of old kitchenware and beanie babies to the patron saint of real estate, St. Joseph (at least, I think that’s how Catholicism works. It’s admittedly been a while since I was actually in a church) so that he would intercede on my behalf and keep me from murdering the neighbor who kept walking past and shouting, “Ya’ll movin’ ALREADY??”.
But then I came and read about your embarrassing offspring and all of your own shameful moments, and I felt much better about my life, so thank you all so much for that. Here are our favorite embarrassing stories about kids:
1. Panties, what are you doing in there?
I think we can all agree that this one is tops. Panties don’t belong in baginas, they belong over baginas.
2. Woof.
I will admit that I chose this one because I can totally relate to it–my daughter insists on being called Pudding, the feisty guinea pig, and it doesn’t matter where we are.
3. Dump Truck
I was wondering if there would be more dump truck related incidents, but you guys let me down! Accidentally profane kids have a special place in my heart. I also want to high five both you and your daughter, so if you’re ever in Texas…
4. Yikes
At least she’s observant. Also, as far as referring to her baby brother as a “thing”? I dig her style.
5. This Twofer
It’s hard to pick which of these is my favorite horribly embarrassing moment. Sorry?
6. Poop
I think this girl would be totally down for a round of “Let It Fart”.
7. Speaking of which…
Maybe that person thought it was the couch squeaking. Or maybe they thought it was your butt. They probably thought it was your butt, though.
8. Oh, you know, just playin’ with some dics.
Between dics and puters, I feel a comraderie with you, internet stranger.
9. Sir, your penis.
What’s the problem? I tell people their penises are showing all the time.
10. Tig old bipples.
I’ll admit: I chose this one as my favorite. It’s hard to have above average sized nipples. The struggle is very real.
(Image: Steve Cukrov/Shutterstock)
