It’s finally happened. That damn E-Trade baby retired this week, and not a moment too soon. In E-Trade’s newest ad, which you can see below, the creeptastic, Gordon Gekko-esque tot is upstaged by an even more annoying talking cat named Beanie, which apparently causes the kid to revolt and quit. At the end of the ad he tosses his phone at the screen and shouts “That’s it, I’m done. I’m out of here. Amateurs!” In honor of this long awaited occasion I’ve put together a list of the funniest E-Trade talking baby spoofs from YouTube.
5. E-Trade Baby Loses Everything
Let’s be honest, this is probably a much more honest commercial for E-Trade than the real talking baby ads. And it’s hilarious to see this little bastard curse up a storm as he watches his life savings disappear. I guess I just want to watch the world burn.
4. The E-Trade Baby Debates Obama
The fact that this video only has 33 views is a crime against humanity. The video is a little shaky at times, but totally worth it to hear that little mo-fo scream about punching the economy in the face and randomly bragging about his online dating prowess.
3. Talking Baby Muses About The Internet
The uncanny valley factor is way less insane with this particular talking baby, and parts of this are really well done and legit looking. But for some odd reason I’m sensing a bro-tastic, womanizer theme with these ads. Why does everyone assume that the E-Trade baby hates women. I guess now that he’s retiring, we’ll never know.
2. Happy Gilmore E-Trade Baby
I don’t know what’s funnier, the baby’s blinged out golfing clothes or the vitriolic hate-fest found in the comments section. I don’t know what it is about the E-Trade baby that inspires such insanity, but it’s hilarious.
1. WTF E-Trade Baby
This is one of the rare types of Internet comedy that is just long enough to be funny, and nothing more. This 10 seconds will be enough to fill your WTF-quota for the rest of the week. I don’t know why I find this so funny, but I do.
And last but not least, the retirement ad itself. It’s a glorious thing.