My Kids’ Fathers Can Be More Objective About Their Talents Than I Can
Are mothers less objective when it comes to their children than fathers?
I’m starting to think so because recently I’ve been posting on my Facebook page little clips of my daughter singing. I, of course, only put them up because I think she’s fabulous. Why would I post a clip of my child singing if I thought she sucked? I know she’s no Celine Dion, but for a 9-year-old, I think she’s pretty darn good.
I filmed her last singing lesson and sent a copy to her father. I called him later that night and asked him what he thought. ”Well, I don’t think she’s going to end up on Broadway, that’s for sure.” Say what? Did he not see what I saw? Did he not hear her voice like I do? I told him I thought he was wrong (this has been our only parental disagreement ever) and that she IS going to end up on Broadway, not because I want her to, but because she wants to. I’m only doing what I can to help her by getting her singing lessons.
”I bet you $50 she will end up on Broadway,” I told her father. He took the bet. But then I added, ”It could be off-Broadway too.” He laughed. But it really got me thinking. I used to be very objective when it came to my daughter. I always tell people including her that she wasn’t a very attractive baby. She is, however, now a beautiful girl. (Again, have I lost all objectivity? Is she really as gorgeous as I think she is? Yes!) So I showed my fiance what I posted on FB, the clips of my daughter singing.
”Don’t you think she’s so good?” I asked. ”Tell me honestly. I need to know if I’m being objective.”
He took a pause. ”Well, she’s”¦good.”
I pressed, ”But you don’t think she’s amazing?”
He answered in the negative and then told me that his ex wanted his daughter to try out for a higher level soccer team, and his response was, ”She’s not good enough.” He says, ”I can be objective. She’s just not good enough.”
So, now I’m feeling a little idiotic and a little embarrassed. I mean, here I am, posting clips of my daughter singing and apparently I’m the only one who thinks she’s awesome. Now I’m left wondering if all the people who watch her on my Facebook page are thinking, ”That mother is insane! She thinks her kid is so fucking amazing and really she SUCKS!” and then they are laughing at me behind my back. Or, when they comment, ”Amazing!” are they really just writing that to be nice?
When I spoke to my friends about this, and the fact that my daughter’s own father and my fiance didn’t think my daughter was all that great a singer, they were all like, ”Are you kidding? She’s great! She’s wonderful!” Of course, these are my friends and I do expect my friends to lie to me when it comes to my proud mommy moments.
I asked one girlfriend if she thought people would think that I was insane for posting clips of my daughter singing, even though, according to the two MALE figures in her life, she’s not amazing at all.
”They’re going to think you are a proud mother. That’s all. And they are going to think she’s cute and talented.”
How is it that I can’t be objective about my own daughter or son (he’s the cutest baby in the world!) but their fathers can be? My fiance admitted to me that he didn’t think Holt was all that cute when he was born and just looked like any other baby, while I was like, ”Oh my god. He’s the cutest little boy ever!”
Is it just a maternal thing? Do we have softer hearts? I’m not totally blind, or make that deaf, when it comes to my daughter’s singing. When I listen to her, I can hear when she’s off pitch, so I guess I can be objective. But still, overall, I think she is pretty good. Make that really good, unlike the men in her life, who I kind of want to punch for being so OBJECTIVE!
(photo: Phaitoon Sutunyawatchai / Shutterstock)
