momsMoms are a fashionable bunch! I know this because I just used the word bunch to describe a group of moms, and almost everything fashionable comes in bunches, like the hair scrunchies you can buy at the dollar store in pastel colors and also, grapes. Every year right around back to school time, websites on the Internet (This is where we are now, ON THE INTERNET) tell us which new trends will be HOT this fall and what we should plan on purchasing to update our wardrobes. My favorite part about this is when parenting websites get in on this topic, because it’s always coupled with some unintentional hilarious MOM-SHAMING about the items NO MOM SHOULD EVER HAVE IN HER WARDROBE. It’s pretty much the best. And yes, I could blather on to you all about how you totally need to add a crisp white shirt to your autumn ensembles or how ankle boots are super hot for fall (It’s a rule when discussing fashion that you use the word hot a lot) but meh, I think you all know me better than that. So without further ado, allow me to present 10 Hot New Trends For Moms I Can’t Wait To Try This Fall.

 Kitten Sweatshirt 

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(Image:  Beatnick’s Vintage)

Darn, this one is sold but the store has a similar kitten themed item in holiday colors. I have said this before and I will say it again, nothing says MOM more than a sweater or sweatshirt with happily frolicking animals on it.

Housecoats 

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(Image: Miss Betty’s Attic)

Housecoats are so hot for fall, you know how I know? BECAUSE I JUST DO. Imagine lounging around your abode, sipping a cocktail, your child wearing the exact same matching housecoat you are. Hot hot is that? Housecoats for everyone!

Yoga Pants In Public 

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(Image: Lulumom)

This is such a controversial topic because so many websites say NOT to wear yoga pants in public! From Honest Mommy:

Yoga Pants – Yoga pants are for doing yoga. Stop wearing them at all times around the house. Or in public for that matter. Just because you are a mother doesn’t mean you can’t get dressed once in a while.

Fashion guru Tim Gunn says never to wear them in public. And this mom feels like we should never wear them in public:

Clothes do communicate something about who you are, intentional or not, fair or not. Yoga pants in public are so judged and unfairly associated with stay-at-home moms that I refuse to feed the stereotype, even if I partially believe it to be true.

So, and this is what I know about fashion, if everyone is agreeing that moms should not wear something in public, this is exactly what we should do. Because it obviously means it’s hot. Wear yoga pants in public but you should never, ever actually do yoga while wearing them.

 Stripper Heels 

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(Image: Leatherlustfootwear)

Our friends at The Stir say we should never wear stripper heels in public. And they caption a photo of stripper heels with the words:

’nuff said.

OH NO THE STIR it is not ’nuff said because I have so many other things to say about this! EVERY mom should always wear stripper heels in public AT ALL TIMES.

They make you look taller so you can intimidate any small children who are giving you lip.

Someone may mistake you for an actual stripper so they give you MONEY. I don’t know about you ladies at The Stir but I have gasoline to buy and also schools fees to pay and I need that money. I guess you ladies are all rich and you can’t appreciate some wadded up dollar bills from appreciative people you see in public. And these shoes even have a place to put the money, so we can basically refuse to talk to anyone who doesn’t put money in our shoes first.

A Fabulous Chambray Smock Apron 

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(Image: Vermont Country Store)

Fashion writers also use the fabulous a lot, but how else can I describe this fabulous chambray smock apron? The website where we can purchase it says:

Spills, splatters, and other mishaps are inevitable when there’s cooking or housework to be done. Play it safe by slipping into our blue chambray smock apron.

 

IT’S LIKE THEY ARE READING MY MIND! I will totally be trying this fabulous hot trend for fall.

 Muumuus

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(Image: Barriovintage)

The housecoat’s sexier and more playful cousin, the muumuu is what you put on after you take off your housecoat, but you totally need a Sobranie cocktail cigarette and Negroni to pull it off.

Actually, I really dig stuff like this, and when I was using my INTERNET GOOGLE MACHINE to find things for this fashion article I came across this place, which has some truly gorgeous stuff.

 The Entire Nicki Minaj For Kmart Collection 

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You guys all know Nicki Minaj is hot because he television and magazines tells us so and now we can all look exactly like her if we buy this spandex space outfit from her upcoming Kmart collection. I’m all ready planning on how I can style this for trips to the dentist and to Ikea.

I Guess A Shirt From This Website 

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(Image: Shop Mama)

When looking for ‘clothes for moms’ this was one of the very first websites that came up, and after reading their  company page I was practically in tears because it’s basically a novel about how the company came about:

I clearly remember my first shopping experience after I had my daughter Allison. After three weeks of being cooped up in our California home (and wearing nothing but pajamas), I decided it was time for my baby and me to have our first big day out of the house. I was ready to celebrate the fact that I was no longer pregnant and was eagerly awaiting the opportunity to buy some new clothes. As much as I loved being pregnant, I was anticipating the thought of buying things for my post-baby body.

And it goes on and on and on and on and at the end I found myself screaming at my computer:

SETTLE DOWN GLADYS IT CAN’T BE THAT BAD LIFE GOES ON AND SHEESH CAN YOU STOP BODY SHAMING YOUR POST BABY BODY?

It’s so awkward. We should all shop there to make them feel better.

 This Just This Just All of This 

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This is going to be really hot for fall because I say it is. We are all going to basically wear knockoff Nolan Miller gowns and really giant shoulder pads.BIG hair BIG shoulder pads. Mark my words.

Wet Look Hair

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(Image: Sarah Marlow)

According to Harper’s, this look is super HOT for fall and I am currently rocking it right now because I didn’t have time to dry my hair before work I am super fashionable like that. Almost anyone can try this super fabulous hot trend, especially if you have many people showering in your house and you run out of hot water and you have to wait to take a cold shower and by then it is too late to dry your hair.

Which of these super hot trends will you be rocking this fall? Please say all of them. At the same time.

(Image: Michelle Mango)