This may just be my opinion, but nothing turns me on less than the idea of a convicted woman-beater. Of all the people in the world who I would never want near my vagina, Chris Brown certainly tops the list. It’s hard to imagine engaging in anything remotely sexual with a guy who punches and bites women, but that’s just me, maybe I’m old-fashioned. On Friday, Media Takeout ran a photograph of Chris Brown’s ex-girlfriend, model Karrueche Tran, showing her wearing a bodycon dress and a slight bulge, which of course means she is pregnant, and not, you know, retaining water from eating Taco Bell or something. But not to worry, because one of Tran’s BFF’s was totally quick to dispel these baby bump rumors to Hollywoodlife.com:
“Kae isn’t pregnant,” a source connected with the aspiring model tells HollywoodLife.com. “They took a fu**ed up picture of her that made her look like that but I would know and the tea is, she ain’t pregnant.”
“…And those pictures are from like three weeks ago,” our source adds. “She’s doing all right though. She cool but home girl is not pregnant.”
As to whether she’s still in contact with Chris, it appears the two are still pretty tight.
“She hopes he’s well and wild-n-out on his tour,” our source explains. “Much love to him and she high-key misses him and will most definitely chill with him when gets back.”
I have no idea why the hell this source is even saying. What does “and the tea is” mean? Is that “the truth?” What does it mean to “high-key” miss someone? Does it mean that Karrueche is walking around crying in a high-pitched scream because she can’t “chill” with Chris Brown? You kids and your cool lingo are making me feel totally old, sheesh.
On Friday Rihanna posted the
touching chilling photo above on her Twitter, and complimented Brown on a recent concert performance. In the November issue of Vogue, the signer explained that we just don’t understand her and Chris Brown, because like, we don’t understand anything:
“To the world, I feel like there’s no closure,” she said. “There’s some obsession that’s continued even throughout when we weren’t friends or couldn’t be friends at all. Hated each other. The world hasn’t let go. They haven’t seen any progress in our friendship, because they don’t see anything, really, besides the song.”
She confirmed that she and Brown are friendly and that their collaboration on her song “Birthday Cake” last summer was her idea. Some fans objected that Rihanna would work with the man who assaulted her in 2009.
“They’re not on the inside,” she said. “They can’t see what I see, unless they’re sitting in my point of view. I guess I’ll learn to accept that.”
Yeah, we can’t see what you see, because the majority of us are still seeing this. I admit it, I don’t get the fascination with Chris Brown. There are so many super talented singers and dancers out there who don’t beat women or threaten to defecate in their eyes, or raise pitbulls in backyard breeding scams , or steal cell phones. Can’t these women find someone else to high-key over?