Nothing Sounds Less Sexy Than Sitting Around With A Bunch Of Other Moms Trying To Get Their Mojo Back

ByMaria Guido

41Bd8TtVi-LHey moms! Are you feeling less sexy since you formed a human and had it emerge from your womb? Is your sex life suffering? Do you need your mojo back? If you live in NYC you can pay someone $150 to show you how to find it. Dany B. Myers’ Mommy Mojo Makeover classes promise a more sexy, confident you. Call me a cynic, but I don’t think sitting in a workshop with a bunch of other moms for two hours is going to do anything for my libido. Sitting in a circle with a bunch of other moms trying to learn how to burlesque dance and talking about “me time” is the opposite of sexy in my book.

I tend to have a problem with things like these, because they are always geared towards women. The responsibility to remain a sex machine after you have kids is something that always falls square on a woman’s shoulders.

I believe that every woman wants and deserves to feel turned-on, sexy and desired. However, many of the moms that I work with are simply overwhelmed and they’ve either given up on or deprioritized their sexy self-confidence and love life.

Unfortunately, I know this approach can end relationships and cause great unhappiness.

Yuck. I hate this argument. Being a parent is a hard transition for men and women. Can we stop perpetuating the myth that women become sexless after they have kids? Even worse is the implication that if women have a momentary disinterest in sex because they are recovering from having a baby or exhausted from the demands of parenthood, they may “end” their relationship or “cause great unhappiness.”

The good news is that sexy self-confidence and a happy, fulfiling[sic] love love life is accessible to any mom who wants it and is willing to put in the effort.

Sometimes you just need the right tools and environment and that’s why I’ve created this event- to help you reignite your romance, reconnect with your body, and rediscover your sexy self-confidence!

I want to believe that sitting in a workshop with a bunch of other moms and getting a goody bag that includes aphrodisiac lip plumping lip gloss and skin honey will make me feel sexy, but all I can think about right now is who is going to have to clean up all of this “skin honey” when we’re done frolicking around with it. Here’s “what you can expect” from the workshop:

  • My week-by-week method for creating a more satisfying and exciting sex life.

  • Inspiring and practical ideas to reprioritize yourself and create more ”me time.”

  • Expert tips to reignite your body confidence right now.

  • Fun, bonding group discussions with like-minded mamas.

  • A killer goodie bag with $75 of full-size Booty Parlor products!

  • Free Champagne and Wine : )

  • Two full, fabulous hours away from your children to just focus on yourself!!

Champagne and wine and two hours away from children sounds good. But I could just go to a wine bar for this, without the awkwardness of talking to strangers about improving my sex life and taking burlesque dancing lessons in front of said strangers.  I followed the link to her Booty Parlor product page, and the first thing that’s advertised on it is Love Thighself! Thigh-toning cellulite cream. Yup, nothing says “self-love” more than spending $42 on a tube of cellulite reducing cream. I love myself so much, but I would love myself more if I didn’t have these fat, dimply thighs. I wonder if that’s included in the goody bag, too. Probably not. Maybe the remote controlled vibrator and chocolate body fondue is sexier. This is just becoming a comedy of errors in my head. Do people actually use remote controlled vibrators in public? I’m disturbed by this.

More power to women who want to do this for fun – but I don’t think this would make me feel particularly sexy.

(photo: Amazon)

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