Britney Spears Is A Better Mother Than You Because She Recorded A Song About ‘Going All Night’ For Her Kids

I know, I know you guys HATE celebrity news but this is not celebrity news because it is about Britney Spears who has not been a celebrity for like 14 years so she doesn’t count. Plus, I also get to bitch about The Smurfs movie and if you are like me, you have watched the first Smurfs movie a total of never because you couldn’t get past the totally obnoxious commercials and when you were growing up you never really dug the Smurfs, because you were always more of a Snorks girl even though the Snorks were technically the Smurfs but under water. EVERYTHING is better underwater.

So your best friend Britney was talking to Ryan Seacrest and she said:

My sons are 6 and 7, so they’re just now getting to the stage where you can’t kiss mommy in front of friends,” she told Ryan Seacrest on Monday of her two children with ex-husband Kevin Federline. ”They’re getting what’s cool and what’s not.”

Spears, 31, debuted her new single ”Ooh La La” on Seacrest’s radio program, ”On Air with Ryan Seacrest,” and said that the song, which is featured on the ”Smurfs 2”³ soundtrack, was a gift for her boys, Preston, 7, and Jayden, 6.

”They’re obsessed with the Smurfs,” she said. ”We’ve seen ”˜The Smurfs’ movie a million, trillion times and they were told they could be in the video and all this cool stuff, so that’s the reason why I did it.”

 

And ya know what’s cool? Britney’s new song that she recorded for her boys because I actually listened to this auto-tuned bubble gum vomit and the song goes like this:

You know can nobody get down like us
We don’t *fuck  stop ’till we get enough

C’mon, turn it up ’till the speakers pop
Break it down, show me what you’ve got

Ooh my my baby don’t be shy

I see that spark flashing in your eye
My heart beats fast ’cause I want it all
So baby come with me and be my ooh la la

Take my hand, we can go all night
And spin me round just the way I like
It feels so good, I don’t wanna stop
So baby come with me and be my ooh la la

 

NOTHING says you love your kids like recording a song for them about fucking. NOTHING. I don’t care if people sing about sex, yay sex we all love sex, sex is what music is about but I’m not Britney and this is just my opinion you may not wanna go on public record saying this song is for the children when it’s about fucking. I’m a prude like that. Maybe that’s why they don’t wanna kiss her, because they are kinda embarrassed. Thinking about your mom “going all night” is creepy, I don’t care who she is. And I won’t be seeing the new Smurfs movie, unless one of you tells me it is totally amazing and a cinematic masterpiece and the best thing ever. But even then I don’t think I will believe you.

* different lyric websites have the lyrics as “Fuck” “F_ck” and “stop” so you decide. I have a headache.

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(Photo: WENN)