I Don’t Want My Stepkids Having Their Christmas Traditions In My Jewish Household

I’m having an internal struggle around allowing my stepchildren to continue with their Christmas traditions in my Jewish household.

This year, on December 25th, my entire blended family will be together. And this is what concerns me. My stepchildren have always celebrated Christmas, including decorating trees, staying in their pajamas all day, getting presents from all relatives, opening stockings, and listening to Christmas carols. But I’m Jewish.

My daughter has been raised Jewish and my son my stepchildren’s brother will also be raised in the Jewish faith. We certainly don’t have a wreath on the door and Santa does not get cookies and milk (Sorry Santa, but really, how many cookies and glasses of milk do you need?)

So now I have two Jewish children, who celebrate Jewish holidays, and two children who celebrate Christian holidays. I’m not a believer in Christmakah, meaning I don’t really like the idea of getting a tree, or hanging stockings on my fireplace, simply because it could look lovely and be in fact a lovely time. Don’t get me wrong: I’m not a Christmas-hater. Christmas trees can be beautiful. The idea of family hanging around together in their pajamas all day sounds wonderful. Seeing children opening gifts, with so much excitement, can be so heartwarming.

I have no reason, really, to not celebrate Christmas, even a little, except for the fact that I’m Jewish and am a firm believer in my religion. That’s my only reason. And I think my stepchildren should know that at my home we don’t do Christmas (or Easter for that matter.) I sound like such a Grinch! But I’m not.

We celebrated Hanukkah at our house, with a party, where the kids did get a lot of presents and cash. They ate latkes and played with dreidels and lit the Menorah every night. They had a great time, even if they had no idea what the meaning of lighting a menorah means.

But now as Christmas fast approaches, I can’t help but think, ”Am I responsible for keeping up with their traditions?” If I do, whether it’s buying them presents, or getting a tree and decorating it, how then would I explain this to my daughter? And, will I be setting up a new tradition, which I don’t believe in, with my son?

I certainly can’t just buy Christmas gifts for my stepchildren and leave my son and daughter out, just like I would never just buy my son and daughter Hanukah gifts and not any for my stepchildren.

Also, I don’t want my son and daughter to expect that they’ll be celebrating Christmas from now on just because their stepsiblings do. So this is why I can’t decide if I should celebrate Christmas and, quite frankly, puts me in an awkward position. I don’t want my stepchildren to feel let down when they wake up on December 25th to find no presents under no tree and no stockings with their names on it on the fireplace.

I asked my Jewish fiance what he thought. ”Well,” he said thoughtfully, ”We could get a tree, I guess.” My response was, ”Why?” even though I was the one asking if we should do something. Obviously, my mind was already made up. Along with the tree, comes lights and presents. What’s the point of buying and then dragging an Evergreen just to be in my living room when I really don’t want to celebrate Christmas?

In a blended family, where kids are going between two houses, everything is different. For example, when my step kids are at my house, they have to share a bedroom (Don’t worry. It’s the biggest bedroom in the house, with their very own steam shower! Even I’m jealous of their room.) But at their mother’s home, they each have their own room. Things are just different at each home. And, this, I suppose includes different faiths and beliefs when it comes to religion.

So I am going to at least get into the Christmas ”˜spirit,’ meaning I will tell them that December 25th is just a day to us, but that Christmas spirit lives in their heart and should all year long. They can pick another day to celebrate Christmas, with their mother, at her home.

At my home, they’ll just have to learn and understand that we don’t do Christmas. However, like most Jewish people on Christmas, they will have a new tradition, which is going out for Chinese food and a movie.

(Image: getty)