Almost every aspect of your life changes after you have a baby. Your body is different, your needs are no longer a priority, relationships oftentimes suffer or end under the strain of caring for this new little person. Having children can also change the way society sees you. You’re no longer just a woman, you’re a MOM now. And you’re expected to act and look like one, whatever that means. One mom’s Facebook post is questioning why we can’t be mothers and still be confident and sexy. Being a sexy mom doesn’t make you a bad mom, anymore than being modest makes you a good mom. In 2017, why is this even a thing?

Cara McConnell is a stay-at-home mother of three girls, in a committed relationship. She wrote a post asking why motherhood had to mean the end of her sexuality, and it quickly went viral.

Being a sexy mom — “What if I said you could be both sexual and maternal?”

In the post, Cara questions why women can’t be mothers and sexual beings. Putting the kids to bed, getting a sitter, and going out to a bar or club isn’t off-limits and doesn’t make you a bad mom. Wearing a crop-top doesn’t negate your ability to parent your children. Wanting to keep passion and fun in your relationship is actually a GOOD thing, and in many ways, it can make you a better parent! When you’re happy and confident and fulfilled in other areas of your life, it spills over into all areas of your life.

“You can’t even hit pause until the squishy little nuggets grow up either because then you’re ‘too old’ to dress this way, do this, act like that, etc. You can’t win!”

The responses to the post have been either really great, or absolutely terrible. So many other moms have commented, thanking her for the post. But because it’s the internet, there have been the usual shitty responses. Slut, bad mom, hoe: just a few of the names thrown at Cara for daring to post about being a sexy mom and having the confidence to know it. She even had to edit the original post to clear up some misconceptions, adding “I, personally, am not promiscuous. I’ve been with the same dude for almost 8 years. However, even if I were it would have no bearing on the type of mother I am.  I don’t go out very often at all. I’m a stay at home mom to my 3 awesome daughters. However, even if I did it would have no bearing on the type of mother I am.”

What if I said you could be both sexual and maternal?…could read bedtime stories to your children then sneak off to…

Posted by Cara McConnell on Friday, August 4, 2017

In a follow-up post, Cara thanks people for the support and messages she’s received, many from other moms or men messaging her to speak about their own wives or girlfriends.

The amount of friends and strangers on that post having my back against hateful people is truly overwhelming. The…

Posted by Cara McConnell on Monday, August 7, 2017

“The amount of love and support for myself and other women outweighs the negative ten fold, and that’s all I could ask for.”

Parents, and moms in particular, are shamed for everything nowadays. From how we raise our kids, to how we live our lives, the constant scrutiny is overwhelming at times! It can erode your confidence and make you doubt yourself, and THAT can negatively affect your parenting. So we’re happy to see a strong, confident woman stand up and say, “This is me and I love me!” That’s what our sons and daughters need to see, too.

(Image: Facebook / Cara McConnell)