After a couple finds out that they are about to bring a baby into their family, what’s the first thing that they do? Get started dreaming up baby names, of course. In fact, many people even have favorite baby names in mind before they are even anywhere near having a baby or bringing a baby home. But, there are such a thing as bad baby names and some aren’t just a matter of personal preference.
When you think about it, naming a baby is one of the ultimate privileges and precious responsibilities you will ever get in life. Nothing asserts your freedom and independence more than the ability to name your child whatever you want, right?
Um, well, wrong. Apparently, despite what parents want, there are actual laws about what you can and cannot name your baby. And some countries are even more strict than others. If you’re getting ready to name your baby or just stockpiling baby names away for the future, be sure to cross these banned and outlawed baby names off your list. Or suffer the consequences of knowing that you alone were responsible for naming your child “Anus.”
Here are 10 banned and outlawed bad baby names — most make total sense because they’re that bad.
1. “J” as a middle name
If you were hoping to slap a middle name that is just one initial on your child and you happen to live in Switzerland, odds are you will be SOL. A judge in Zurich recently ruled that a set of parents most definitely could not give their daughter a middle name of “J,” citing that it would not be in the child’s best interest. The judge wasn’t even moved by the parent’s explanation, which is that the “J” was in honor of their daughter’s grandparents, Johanna and Josef. That’s cold.
That’s right–Nutella. Two parents in France wanted to name their baby “Nutella,” after that chocolatey hazelnut goodness and really, can you blame them? That stuff could be sold on the street as drugs, it’s so addictive.
But alas, despite the goodness that Nutella conjures up in our minds, a French court could not justify letting a child be brought into the world bearing the same moniker. A judge feared the child would be mocked and made fun of and suggested they name their daughter “Ella” instead.
French people love their food, apparently, because another French family tried to name their daughter “Fraise,” the French word for “strawberry.” Sadly, this too was banned. I’m just wondering how great it would have been for Nutella and Strawberry to meet and fall in love, because everyone knows there’s nothing better than Nutella and strawberries.
Sure, it was a rocking music festival in the 70’s, but German officials still don’t want anyone naming their kid after that free-spirited debauchery. Woodstock is banned from the German baby name registry.