Don’t Be Afraid Of Your Son’s Baby Boner

I have a son so I have dealt with my share of creepy baby boners. My first baby was a girl so I was brand new to it when my son was born.When it started happening as an infant, I would shriek and call in my husband because I was not aware that anyone under the age of 13 actually got them and it freaked me the hell out. He soothed my panic and told me that from the dawn of man, baby boys have gotten boners. Hell, our son probably had them whilst in my uterus. Puke. Ok, anyway- I am no longer freaked out by it because it’s been five years and it’s really no big deal so you shouldn’t be either. Here are five reasons not to be afraid of your baby boy’s eventual boners.

1. You can always ignore it

My son loves to tell me about his “Hulk” weiner and how it’s growing. I basically go “how nice…..” and move it the fuck along!

2. You can turn it into a teachable moment

You can take this oppurtunity to explain to him that it is not a big deal but it is private and if he wants to explore he needs to take it behind closed doors.

3. Or you can always call in your husband to deal with it

That way, you don’t have to. Because he gets boners too. It’s only fair, really.

4. Pretending you cannot hear him should work

This is different than ignoring him. Trust me, I am a professional.

5. If all else fails, just close your eyes and wish him to be a girl

Because in parenting, denial is always your BFF.