Ugh, this is a tough one. A woman is asking for advice after her SIL banned her 4-month old from a family birthday party. The reason? Her SIL says her own infertility struggles make it difficult for her to be around the baby. But it appears that there may be more to the story.

The woman asked Mumsnet members for advice, after she says her SIL’s infertility struggles led to her asking that she not bring the baby to a family party.

infertility struggles

Image: Mumsnet

The woman says her brother is turning 40, and the family is planning a big surprise party to mark the occasion. She and her husband recently welcomed their first child, a baby girl. Her brother and SIL have suffered through infertility struggles for 4 years.

The party will include members from both sides of the family, included several of the SIL’s nieces and nephews. But the poster says she and her husband were invited with one caveat: that they leave their new baby at home.

We absolutely understand how difficult it would be for the SIL to be around babies. Infertility struggles make it so hard for a lot of women. But the fact that other kids are invited, other babies even, makes this sound a little … suspicious. Commenters came to the support of the original poster.

infertility struggles

Image: Mumsnet

It DOES sound like the original poster’s baby is being singled out. If it was an event that didn’t include any children, that’d be one thing. But this seems very personal. Some posters wondered if there was more to the story.

infertility struggles

Image: Mumsnet

There could be so much more to this story, but on it’s face, we understand how hurt the original poster must feel. In her first post, she says she and her brother are very close, and that he spends time with his niece (but on his own). However, it seems like she’s stuck between a rock and a hard place. On the one hand, does she call out her SIL over the invitation slight? Or does she honor the reason her SIL used to justify not inviting the baby? We’re sure the last thing she wants to do is upset her SIL further, and as some posters pointed out, infertility struggles are absolutely heartbreaking.

infertility struggles

Image: Mumsnet

infertility struggles

Image: Mumsnet

Good points, for sure. We can’t imagine how difficult it is to spend time around babies when you’re struggling to conceive your own. But then why allow other babies to attend?

The original poster added a follow-up to her post, explaining a few details about the situation. She still seems very confused and hurt, and really, asking a new mom to be away from her infant for unknown or iffy reasons is kind of a dick move.

infertility struggles

Image: Mumsnet

We feel for everyone involved here, and really hope they’re able to come to some sort of resolution that doesn’t hurt anyone’s feelings or put anyone in a difficult situation.

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(Image: iStock / fizkes)