149317672If there’s one thing you don’t want your baby to be known as, it’s The Biter. There’s always one in daycare or pre-school or a playgroup, isn’t there? When my daughter was in pre-school there was a boy who was a biter. Whenever my daughter mentions his name, to this day, I’ll say, ‘Oh, The Biter?’ And it’s been eight years!

Let’s face it. If your child is a biter, all the other parents know that your kid is a biter, probably because your kid is coming home from day care with bite marks and you will find out who the kid and their parents are.

And, now, I’m the one who has The Biter. FML. I have proof of this in the form of a photo of baby teeth marks that had remained on my cheek for three days after my own son bit me. So far, my baby has bitten almost everyone in my house.

One night, he was like a pit bull and not only bit my stepdaughter’s finger hard, he refused to let go of her finger. She, too, had teeth marks for the next couple of days on her finger and talk about the mayhem when you see your baby biting your stepdaughter who is crying in pain and parents trying to unlock their baby’s clamped teeth from their other child’s finger. Who knew that when a baby bites and clamps hard, it’s really almost impossible to get them to let go!

The Biter also attacked my daughter. He bit her on her chin, which also left a mark. Biting babies really, really hurt. They are brutal. The Biter does not just take a nibble. He bites, like he’s attacking a well-done steak. So, of course, we couldn’t let this go on. We were running out of Polysporn and Band-Aids and also, it’s just plain wrong to bite.

So, every time, my son looks like, or does, bite someone, we have to yell at him, “NO. NO. NO!” It’s so strange how babies can be so different from one another. My daughter never bit, so I was not prepared to have a Biter come out of me and that I’d be answering questions with, “Yeah, my baby bit me. Yeah, at least his teeth marks are straight.” But, alas, I do. And because he’s not so smart – “No, that is a dog food bowl! That kibble is not for you!” – I don’t think he’ll understand if I tell him, “Just because you have mouthful of teeth now does not mean you can bite humans!”