Author Archives: Maria Guido

Neighbor Litters Yard With Zombies And Severed Heads, Parents Freak Out

Neighbor Litters Yard With Zombies And Severed Heads, Parents Freak Out

Forget styrofoam tombstones and smiling bats hanging from trees — one homeowner in Minneapolis would rather haunt your dreams and scar your children. Either this person really loves zombies and gore, or he or she just loves scaring the crap out of small children and pissing her neighbors off. The Halloween-lover has peppered her yard with severed heads and gruesome zombies, and some of her neighbors aren’t happy about it. More »

Clueless Administrator Makes 5-Year-Old Who Pointed A Crayon At A Student Sign Contract Promising Not To Kill Anyone

Clueless Administrator Makes 5-Year-Old Who Pointed A Crayon At A Student Sign Contract Promising Not To Kill Anyone

The over-reaction is pretty funny, considering Alabama has some of the laxest gun laws in the country. You don’t need a permit to purchase one, a license to own one, and there’s no requirement to register one. They allow open carry and there is no assault weapons law. Just make sure you don’t teach your kids to mimic the noise they make – or all hell will break loose. More »

Foodie Dad Brings Restless Infant To Fine Dining Restaurants, Doesn’t Understand The Problem

Foodie Dad Brings Restless Infant To Fine Dining Restaurants, Doesn't Understand The Problem

People generally lose their minds if you mention bringing a baby to a restaurant, let alone a fancy one. This weekend, father and writer Noah Lederman penned a piece for Salon that inadvertently illustrates all of the reasons it’s a horrible idea to bring your infant to a nice restaurant. He seems shocked at the backlash. Sorry guy — it’s really hard to be on your side after reading your story. You’ve pretty much convinced the world that white tablecloths and infants don’t mix. More »

I’ll Never Stop Judging Other Moms So Stop Trying To Make Me Feel Guilty About It

I'll Never Stop Judging Other Moms So Stop Trying To Make Me Feel Guilty About It

Who decided that all mothers have to agree with and support each other, or that we even should? That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Just because we share the experience of caring for little humans day in and day out, doesn’t mean we are going to fully support the choices we each make. We’re all different. We’re filled with our own opinions and judgements and I’m here to tell you that’s okay. More »

5 Kids Died In A Car Crash Last Weekend And Asking ‘Where Were The Parents’ Isn’t Helping Anyone

5 Kids Died In A Car Crash Last Weekend And Asking 'Where Were The Parents' Isn't Helping Anyone

Even if he had been a licensed driver, he would only be entitled to a California provisional license, which does not allow drivers on the road between 11pm and 5am or allow anyone under 20 years old in the car unless there is a licensed driver 25 or older present. So yes, there were laws broken. Unfortunately, asking “where were the parents?” and ” how did they let this happen?” isn’t going to help anyone now, but it’s still a reaction you will see everywhere when a tragedy like this happens. More »

Police Pepper Spray Black Teen In His Own Home Because Racist Neighbor Assumes He’s A Criminal

Police Pepper Spray Black Teen In His Own Home Because Racist Neighbor Assumes He's A Criminal

Just another day of racial profiling in America! This time, an 18-year-old North Carolina kid entered his own house after school and was soon met by three cops in his living room, pepper spraying him in the face. This is all thanks to people who can’t be bothered to know who their next door neighbors are, but can always remember to be suspicious of black skin. More »

8 Creepy Vintage Dolls That Are Way Scarier Than Any Other Halloween Decoration You Could Conceive

8 Creepy Vintage Dolls That Are Way Scarier Than Any Other Halloween Decoration You Could Conceive

If you are one of those families who likes to compete with your neighbors over whose house makes more children cry, I have some awesome ideas for you. Who needs tombstones, vampires, and fake blood when you can horrify the kids in your neighborhood with vintage doll heads? Think about it – is there anything creepier than an old doll in bad condition? I think not. More »