The rest of us who just throw a sandwich, a juice box and an apple into a bag and call it a day can actually applaud ourselves for the wonderful food-safety mission we’ve accomplished. Yay, us. More
Author Archives: Maria Guido
When I was living in New York with a small child, there were things about my suburban upbringing that I started to miss so much; things I never thought twice about when I had them. There are certain things that make a parent’s life so much easier, that you don’t really appreciate until you don’t have them anymore.
I’m going to go ahead and speak for all parents who failed at sleep training their infants and say that sleep training books are a cruel joke. More
Forget styrofoam tombstones and smiling bats hanging from trees — one homeowner in Minneapolis would rather haunt your dreams and scar your children. Either this person really loves zombies and gore, or he or she just loves scaring the crap out of small children and pissing her neighbors off. The Halloween-lover has peppered her yard with severed heads and gruesome zombies, and some of her neighbors aren’t happy about it. More
I hate it when parents treat Halloween costumes like some super special, precious item that can’t be soiled. If your kid wants to wear his Halloween costume constantly — why not let him? More
The over-reaction is pretty funny, considering Alabama has some of the laxest gun laws in the country. You don’t need a permit to purchase one, a license to own one, and there’s no requirement to register one. They allow open carry and there is no assault weapons law. Just make sure you don’t teach your kids to mimic the noise they make – or all hell will break loose. More
People generally lose their minds if you mention bringing a baby to a restaurant, let alone a fancy one. This weekend, father and writer Noah Lederman penned a piece for Salon that inadvertently illustrates all of the reasons it’s a horrible idea to bring your infant to a nice restaurant. He seems shocked at the backlash. Sorry guy — it’s really hard to be on your side after reading your story. You’ve pretty much convinced the world that white tablecloths and infants don’t mix. More
When I look back on all the ideas I had about how my first labor would go, I see that none of my ideas came to fruition. Well, none of them except the most important one — that I would eventually have a healthy baby in my arms. More
Single ladies everywhere, rejoice! Steve Harvey started a dating site — all of your worries are over! It’s called Delightful, and all you have to do to use it is turn off the part of your brain that actually thinks logically, and believe all his stereotypical garbage advice is true. Then you can hopefully find a man who wants to date you! Yay!
Who decided that all mothers have to agree with and support each other, or that we even should? That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Just because we share the experience of caring for little humans day in and day out, doesn’t mean we are going to fully support the choices we each make. We’re all different. We’re filled with our own opinions and judgements and I’m here to tell you that’s okay. More
Even if he had been a licensed driver, he would only be entitled to a California provisional license, which does not allow drivers on the road between 11pm and 5am or allow anyone under 20 years old in the car unless there is a licensed driver 25 or older present. So yes, there were laws broken. Unfortunately, asking “where were the parents?” and ” how did they let this happen?” isn’t going to help anyone now, but it’s still a reaction you will see everywhere when a tragedy like this happens. More
Since there are so many people in the world who have no sense of social propriety, I decided to make a list of responses you can give if you ever get the dreaded, “Are you pregnant” question. More
Just another day of racial profiling in America! This time, an 18-year-old North Carolina kid entered his own house after school and was soon met by three cops in his living room, pepper spraying him in the face. This is all thanks to people who can’t be bothered to know who their next door neighbors are, but can always remember to be suspicious of black skin. More
If you are one of those families who likes to compete with your neighbors over whose house makes more children cry, I have some awesome ideas for you. Who needs tombstones, vampires, and fake blood when you can horrify the kids in your neighborhood with vintage doll heads? Think about it – is there anything creepier than an old doll in bad condition? I think not. More