Author Archives: Eve Vawter

I’m Trying To Be Open Minded, But I’m Beyond Terrified By Fetish Barnyard Sex People

I'm Trying To Be Open Minded, But I'm Beyond Terrified By Fetish Barnyard Sex People

A few weeks ago when I first read about this case, I asked my lovely and amazing co-worker Bethany Ramos to cover this story and I believe her answer was SHUT UP EVE THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH PARENTING I CANNOT WRITE ABOUT THIS IT IS TOO AWFUL. Hence, I am usually the default writer when it comes to bringing you the truly awful news I cannot get any of the other writers to cover. Which brings us to my parenting angle: I cannot for the life of me understand any sexual fetish that involves animals or the hurting of animals and if any of my kids grew up to have this creepy fetish I would disown them post haste. More »

Stop Panicking Parents I Have Your Disney Frozen Merchandise Right Here!

Stop Panicking Parents I Have Your Disney Frozen Merchandise Right Here!

Your kid doesn’t get a Frozen doll. Too bad boo hoo, now they will grow up and hate you. That’s what you get parents, that is what you get! But I have a solution for you, oh boy do I ever, because I’m an amazingly smart person and I will share my wisdom with you so your dumb kid will stop whining about their dumb lack of Disney branded bullshit you will end up donating by next Easter anyway. More »

Your Blood Is Going To Boil When You Read The Comments On This Leaked Video Of Two Kids Fighting

Your Blood Is Going To Boil When You Read The Comments On This Leaked Video Of Two Kids Fighting

These kids fighting are bad enough. It’s horrible and awful and makes me never want to let my own kids take a bus anywhere, but what worries me more than the kids fighting are the comments left by people who viewed this video, because some of these people are out there breeding. Both kids are wrong. I would say the boy is “less wrong” than the girl, but they both need a big talking to. They don’t worry me as much as the people commenting on the fight. More »

School Board Wants Parents To Stop Dressing Like Slobs To Set An Example For Students

 School Board Wants Parents To Stop Dressing Like Slobs To Set An Example For Students

Give me a break. I think if parents take the time to actually show up at school to either meet with teachers or administrators or to pick their kids up they can dress how they want. At least they care enough to show up at the school. And a lot of the times when a parent does show up at the school it’s because the school has called for whatever reason, because one of our dumb kids is sick or busted for something and we need to rush right down there to get them. If they wanted parents to dress all fancy and not wear curlers then they could at least have the decency not to call us during the day when our stories are on. More »

These Stupid Stock Photos Prove All Parents Love Shoving Their Babies In Buckets

These Stupid Stock Photos Prove All Parents Love Shoving Their Babies In Buckets

Oh for the love of Anne Geddes it’s another round up of totally stupid stock photo images that I always run across when trying to scour our photo websites for relevant images I can use to illustrate all of the hard-hitting journalistic masterpieces I post for you guys here. I don’t know what asshole decided to stick a baby in a bucket, but you assholes need to totally start doing this. More »

Here’s How You Protect Your Kid From ‘Mean Girls’ E-mailing Them – Don’t Give Them An E-mail Account

Here's How You Protect Your Kid From 'Mean Girls' E-mailing Them - Don't Give Them An E-mail Account

You can say that they need E-mail to keep in contact with long distance relatives. No, they don’t. Grandma can get off her butt and mail your child an actual letter or postcard using an actual pen and paper. Kids love getting mail, and pretty much every kid needs some time practicing their penmanship which they can do by sitting at your kitchen table and crafting out a reply. Even little kids can scribble a picture using crayons. If grandma refuses to send an actual letter, she can e-mail your kid an electronic missive to your account. Problem solved.
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There Are ‘No Girls Allowed’ In This Avenger’s Toy Set Because Black Widow Is A Dumb Girl

There Are 'No Girls Allowed' In This Avenger's Toy Set Because Black Widow Is A Dumb Girl

Initially I didn’t ascribe anything to it, but notably absent from that set is Black Widow, the only female Avenger. In Winter Soldier, the only character with more screen time than her was Captain America himself, which makes her a much more significant character in the franchise than either Hulk or Hawkeye. If there is one thing that Disney does more and better than anyone else, it’s product tie-ins. There is no way the developers responsible for this set didn’t know that Black Widow was important in the movies. More »

Christian Dudes Made A Modesty Music Video To Slut-Shame Girls By Telling Them To Put On Clothes

Christian Dudes Made A Modesty Music Video To Slut-Shame Girls By Telling Them To Put On Clothes

Here’s something we all don’t want and need, a comedy song all about how young ladies should PUT IT ON, meaning more clothes that is, because some Christian dudes who are also dads wanted to open up dialogue about how women are portrayed or made to feel they have to dress a certain way to get noticed. Hey dues, thanks dudes for opening up this dialogue while subsequently shaming girls for how they dress if they aren’t hitting ‘da club in a turtleneck sweater.
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