Author Archives: Eve Vawter

Nothing Fills Me With More Mom Angst And Loathing Than $78 Bunny Nightlights

Nothing Fills Me With More Mom Angst And Loathing Than $78 Bunny Nightlights

There is a certain type of feeling you get when confronted with items that you want for your children, adorable, beautiful, precious, perfect items that you somehow think would make your life better, or their life better, or that tie into this whole sort of mystical ideal we have of childhood, especially when your own childhood didn’t have these elements of whimsy or beauty. More »

Pregnant Woman Busted After Posting Shoplifted Dress Snaps On Facebook

Pregnant Woman Busted After Posting Shoplifted Dress Snaps On Facebook

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before, pregnant woman goes into a store, shoplifts an ugly dress, posts the images on Facebook and gets busted after people in her hometown recognize the ugly dress and turn her in. No, you haven’t heard this one before? That’s right, because most pregnant women wouldn’t risk a police record to steal a dress that looks like Lisa Frank created it in the early 80′s. More »

Darling Little Girl Offers Flowergirl Services At City Hall – Would Also Like A Unicorn

Darling Little Girl Offers Flowergirl Services At City Hall - Would Also Like A Unicorn

Most days I would be all cynical about things like this because you know what? Life stinks kid and you can’t always get what you want. But little Annabelle Earl from Brooklyn is so flipping cute she has made my cold, black heart grow three sizes today by going to city hall and offering her flower girl services to any couple waiting to tie the knot. Yup, her mom put her in a dress, let her buy some flowers from a bodega, and she stood around and propositioned couples until she found a taker. More »

The Real Reasons Why Women Breastfeed In Public

The Real Reasons Why Women Breastfeed In Public

Breastfeeding moms are told to cover up, to be discreet, to go feed their babies in public restrooms because as we all know, there is nothing more pleasant than having lunch in a place reserved for urinating and defecting, or else to go sit in a hot car in a parking lot and feed your baby in the privacy of your vehicle. When I was breastfeeding my kids, and when I did so in public, I always did it because they were hungry, but according to the internet, women do it for many other reasons More »

Like This Couple From Delaware, I Would Also Like To Have Sex On The Roof Of A Chipotle

Like This Couple From Delaware, I Would Also Like To Have Sex On The Roof Of A Chipotle

If you say you don’t love Chipotle so much that you wouldn’t have sex on the roof of one then you are totally lying to me, because Chipotle means a lot more than just casual Mexican food to go and pretty decent tortilla chips, it also means SEXY TIME. At least it does according to this couple who were busted getting busy on the roof of a Chipotle located in Newark, Delaware. More »

This Tennessee Law About Pregnant Addicts Won’t Make Them Stop Using Drugs

This Tennessee Law About Pregnant Addicts Won't Make Them Stop Using Drugs

What this law does is criminalize addiction, and most drug addicts are sick people, and they have so much shame about their addictions that all this is going to do is cause pregnant women less likely to get help in getting clean. Being on drugs while pregnant is a horrible mistake, but I don’t think a pregnant women getting high is going to hear about a story like this and think “Oh dear, I best stop doing drugs so I don’t end up in prison too.” More »