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Kim Kardashian has been having a rough time with this whole pregnancy thing. In addition to gaining weight in all sorts of confusing places and the tabloids deciding that Kanye West is on the verge of dumping her, Kim seems to have no idea of how to appropriately dress for her growing baby bump.

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We make fun of Gwyneth Paltrow a lot here at The Gloss. One might say she’s our new Courtney Stodden now that that river has run its course, except inexplicably respected and still relevant despite doing mostly awful projects and films for the past five years. But then, if she didn’t give us reasons to poke fun of her ($90 white tees, “essential” $450K wardrobes, write cookbooks with scarcely any food involved, etc.). Now, though, she’s being hit with a whole lot of criticism from all directions for selling bikinis to children on GOOP.

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My mother wanted to be a fashion designer. But, unlike myself who couldn’t wait to get my hands on New York City, my mother was terrified. She still remains terrified of the city where her dreams could have become a reality. She lacks the necessary gene to take risk and to be even remotely adventurous. It’s been an argument since I was old enough to realize I was not meant to stay in one place for too long. We even argued debated it this morning because she refuses to come to Paris to visit.
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Two young UK women who, when 15, each were gifted a huge “present” from their mother: plastic surgery. More specifically, Karen and Jennifer Lopez (f’real real name) received liposuction, breast implants, buttock fillers and rhinoplasty. While this level of surgery is not permitted in countries of the United Kingdom, the pair were unfortunately able to acquire such “gifts” in the Colombian city of Cali, where their family was originally from.
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When I was in early high school, I met a friend who was all about MySpace (remember that creepy, glittery, even-more-vain-than-Tumblr beta Facebook?). She had met several guys via the site after exchanging lots of edited, angled photos — thereby making it a little difficult to recognize one another — and had actually seen some success with dating one or two of them. At the time, I was awkward, unhealthily pale and afraid of approaching guys, so her means of acquiring significant others seemed pretty appealing. Of course, teenage online dating via social networking sites is extremely normalized nowadays, but at the time, it was new territory that was sort of seeing its primitive stages.
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God help me, I’m about to defend a Kardashian.

As you, you parents and the Mayans all know, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are going to have a baby. They have going to have a baby that, in all likelihood, will not save the world nor be the antichrist. It will almost certainly be a baby that vomits and wears diapers and requires feedings in the middle of the night. It will not be inherently self-centered, though babies, by definitely, are screamers and criers that require constant attention. All in all, it will simply be a baby, much to the dismay of the world who will look at it — as occurs when any two famous people procreate — as something much, much more.
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