Author Archives: Crushable

When You Realize This Adult Joke Was In Shrek, Your Childhood Will Officially Be Over

When You Realize This Adult Joke Was In Shrek, Your Childhood Will Officially Be Over

One of the best things about more recent animated movies is that the scripts contain jokes that go over the kids’ heads but that their parents can quietly appreciate from the theater seat next to them. And then the kids inevitably watch the movie again years later and finally understand why it was funny — and probably inappropriate. But I still never realized this particular joke was in 2001′s Shrek, which was pointed out yesterday in a Reddit thread asking about things you realized about a movie years later. Warning: Reading this will cause your childhood to die on the spot. More »

When Kids Reenact Dramatic Emmy-Nominated TV Shows, Everybody Wins

When Kids Reenact Dramatic Emmy-Nominated TV Shows, Everybody Wins

The 2014 Emmy Awards will air this upcoming Monday night, so get excited to see the same old shows win. Considering how predictable the nominations have become, I don’t foresee many surprises. But as jaded as I am, there’s simply no way to stay a Grumpy Gus for long when this video of kids reenacting the nominated drama series exists. There are no losers where kids wearing fake mustaches are involved. Absolutely not. More »

Miranda Kerr Thinks Orlando Bloom Is Such A Great Dad, Which Is Why She Has A Nanny Follow Him Around

Miranda Kerr Thinks Orlando Bloom Is Such A Great Dad, Which Is Why She Has A Nanny Follow Him Around

I know we’ve talked before about what a friendly divorce Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom have, but this latest quote from Miranda is making that look a little less certain. She talked to The Sunday Times about what parenting their son is like after the split. Apparently Miranda has a nanny follow Orlando around whenever he takes care of Flynn. But it’s not because she doesn’t trust him or anything, you guys! In fact, it’s just the opposite. More »

Why I Can’t Stop Stalking Celebrity Kids, Even Though I Know Better

Why I Canât Stop Stalking Celebrity Kids, Even Though I Know Better

I have a confession to make and I’m going to need for you to promise not to judge me: I am completely invested in the lives of celebrity children. Like really invested. I am a part of the group of people who flock to see new photos of celebrity kids whenever they’re released. I click every article about them that seems to be even the slightest bit interesting. And I positively live for the moments when they fall in Celebrity Child Love with other celebrity children. My name is Olivia and I am a part of group of scoundrels that Anna Kendrick tweeted about that one time. I am the problem. But I totally have reasons for my (non-creepy, I PROMISE) obsession with their lives, and I they they might even be good ones! More »

The New Sexualized Cover Of Charlie And The Chocolate Factory Will Make You Angry

The New Sexualized Cover Of Charlie And The Chocolate Factory Will Make You Angry

Do you guys remember the Toddlers and Tiaras character in Roald Dahl‘s classic children’s book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? Oh, c’mon, you know the one! She was the prostitot that went galavanting through the candy room, using the candy cane trees as stripper poles. She tried and failed to seduce Charlie and couldn’t convince Willy Wonka to be her pimp. Oh wait, you don’t remember that? THAT’S BECAUSE IT NEVER HAPPENED. More »

An Extreme Guide To The Different Types Of Reality TV Show Moms

An Extreme Guide To The Different Types Of Reality TV Show Moms

Here’s a thing that we here at Crushable have noticed: there’s no such thing as a dad in the world of reality TV (with the exception of dear, dear Sugar Bear on Here Comes Honey Boo Boo). They simply do not exist in important roles whatsoever. Another thing is that the moms who are almost always featured in large roles are out of their freaking minds. But the special thing is that they’re not all the same brand of crazy, which keeps things spicy and interesting, like a good buffalo wing. More »

Olivia Wilde Got Peed On During Her Glamour Shoot, So Let’s Start Diapering These Babies

Olivia Wilde Got Peed On During Her Glamour Shoot, So Letâs Start Diapering These Babies

Yesterday while I was busy doing my happy dance about Olivia Wilde being photographed for Glamour while breastfeeding her adorable son Otis, I also pointed out that I was surprised they didn’t have him in a diaper for the shoot. After all, a diaper-less North West took a whiz on Kanye West during her Vogue shoot, so I guess I was just impressed that Otis had so much more self-control. More »

Kimye Had Their Wedding Place Cards Carved Into The Table, Which Shockingly Backfired

Kimye Had Their Wedding Place Cards Carved Into The Table, Which Shockingly Backfired

Last night Kim Kardashian went on Jimmy Kimmel Live, and if you can believe it, she is still talking about her wedding to Kanye West, even though at this point their marriage has lasted even longer than her previous one. But there are impractical place settings to discuss! Because of course Kim and Kanye didn’t use some poor person’s place card tutorial they found on Pinterest. They had to do something permanent, to mirror their endless love. More »

13 Movies You Loved As A Teenager But Are Too Cynical To Enjoy Now

13 Movies You Loved As A Teenager But Are Too Cynical To Enjoy Now

The late ’90s/early 2000s were a grand time for movies, especially for those of us who are now well into our twenties. Romance! Comedy! Drama! A middle-aged man running a Woodstock-style camp alone for a bunch of kids with no parental supervision! So many makeovers for Ugly Duckling Girls! Regardless of the premise, we loved them all. And we still watch them when they’re featured on cable television channels at 12 a.m. But we have a different perspective now – we’re grown-ups (that phrase brought to you by A Grain of Salt). So it’s harder to enjoy some of these movies knowing what we know now, that we didn’t know back when we thought the sun rose and set on high school drama and Lip Smackers. More »

Kate Gosselin’s Supposedly ‘Strict’ Rules For Her Show’s Crew Are Actually Very Reasonable

Kate Gosselinâs Supposedly âStrictâ Rules For Her Showâs Crew Are Actually Very Reasonable

I’m not typically one to defend Kate Gosselin, but this newest report from Radar Online about her rules for the crew of her reality show is pretty unfair. The title promises that the rules are “strict,” but then all I see are reasonable requests for privacy and respect and safety and cleanliness. I’m pretty sure those are things that anyone would expect if they had a bunch of strangers with cameras hanging out in their house full of eight children. More »

Props To Maya Rudolph For Keeping Her Baby’s Name And Gender A Secret For Almost A Year

Props To Maya Rudolph For Keeping Her Babyâs Name And Gender A Secret For Almost A Year

I already thought Maya Rudolph was pretty awesome, but this latest news about her makes me want to give her a long-distance high-five. Can you feel it, Maya? I’m totally high-fiving you right now. I… I think I felt your palm. It might have just been the air, though. Anyway, the reason I’m so impressed is that Maya managed to keep her fourth child’s name and gender a secret for almost an entire year, proving that privacy really is possible in Hollywood. At least until TMZ figures things out. More »