Sexism is O-V-E-R!!! Not! But, I have to say, when I learned that there was a “Daddy and Me” soccer class for toddlers, you bet your butt I signed my son (and my fiancé) up.
“It says, ‘Daddy and Me,’ I told my fiancé, who moaned that he already had two older children in soccer. “But this is ‘Daddy and Me!’ I swear, I’ve never heard of such a thing! Usually, it’s always ‘Mommy and Me’ classes.” More
I think one of my daughter’s teachers really, really doesn’t like me. I know! Shocking, right, that someone doesn’t like me? I’m at an age, I think, where I don’t care whether adults hate me. Except, when you have this gut feeling that a teacher hates you, then you do actually care, because what if said teacher takes it out on your daughter, instead of just hating on you? More
I’m pretty good with quick, snarky comebacks. But there is one sentence people say, especially to mothers, for which I do not have a good comeback. That sentence is, “You look exhausted.” Sigh. More
I’m pretty positive the creators and writers of young children programs are high as a fucking kite. Whatever it is they are on, when they come up with episodes, I just want to say, “I’d like some of that! How else am I going to get through these shows, without drugs?” More
Recently, on my FB page, I started, “Mommy Brag Mondays!” Why? Because I have a lot to brag about when it comes to my children. I don’t just want to share it with their fathers, my parents, or friends. I want the fucking world (or my 3000 followers) to know how fabulous my children are, whether they care or not. What can I say? I cooked some pretty awesome children. More
I’ve come to realize – a little too late – what a couple SHOULD talk about before having a baby is not how you don’t like the name Kelly, because that was the name of the girl who bullied you throughout school, but about PARENTING STYLES.
Oops! It turns out that my fiancé and I have somewhat different parenting styles, which I really only realized in the last few weeks. Our son is 21 months old. More
My daughter is so skinny that she has been stopped a handful of times to be asked to be a model in runway children shows. Each time, I’ve said ‘no,’ because I believe she is too young to be directed into the modeling world, where she’d probably end up eating cotton balls for meals.
If she does one day, when she’s 18, wants to be a model, fine. But not now. Not when she’s ten. More
I love my daughter’s teacher. She’s smart and makes me laugh. Especially when she wrote to me that she was starting an “Organizational Club,” at school. Bahaha! I can’t stop laughing about it, even though, of course, this teacher means well. More
Was I really supposed to, after trying to conceive him, race to the phone and call the pre-school to sign him up? Would it go something like this? “I just had sex. I may have conceived a baby. Please sign him/her up for pre-school now so when he’s a toddler he’ll have a spot. Here’s my deposit.”
But, as my daughter explained, the MOST popular of “The Populars” take the private shower stalls. “But how do people know who is popular and who isn’t?” I asked my daughter. “You just know,” was her answer. More
I think it is super important for parents to show affection to each other, especially in front of their kids. I’m not talking full on make-out and humping, but hugs, kisses, sitting on laps, friendly pats on the butt, and saying, “I love you,” to each other, as parents, is something our kids need to see. More
I once looked forward to these nights – the ENTIRE bed to myself! Eating pizza in bed! Wearing my most ugly yet most comfortable pajamas! Not brushing my teeth! – but as I tried to fall asleep, I felt out of sorts and kind of lonely. The silence was deafening. That is, until I found Ellie, and spent the night sleeping with her. More
So I have one child who looks exactly like me and one son who looks nothing like me (or my daughter.) On the positive side, when I look at Holt, I see only his father, and that warms my heart. But on the negative, Holt made me gain almost 70 pounds and I had to have my stomach cut open because of him. Shouldn’t I at least get a baby after all that who shares some feature – anything – of mine? More
I have three girls who love shopping at Victoria’s Secret, while my poor fiancé has to sit around and wait for us to try on bra after bra. When we want to get our nails done, he, too, has to sit around and wait. It’s not because we need him there. And it’s not because he enjoys watching us discuss polish colors. He just likes to spend time together with his family.
We’re a really open family, so it was no surprise when my stepdaughter came home and said grumpily, “I got my period.” I responded back grumpily, “So did I! We’re on the same cycle!” and then we high-fived each other and popped some Advil’s together. There’s nothing like bonding with your stepdaughter having the same menstrual cycle. Soon enough, there will be five of us on the same cycle. More