I bought those alcohol test strips for breast milk to make sure I wasn’t giving my baby boozy breast milk. I have some advice for you breastfeeding moms out there – steer clear of these devil strips.

First of all, they’re not cheap. It was $17 for eight strips. But I really enjoy having a glass of wine at the end of the day – sometimes two. I figured I would get these so I could ease my mind about the whole drinking-during-breastfeeding thing.

Every woman metabolizes alcohol differently so milkscreen™ allows Mom to relax and remove the guesswork

Milkscreen™ measures the amount of alcohol in the breast milk to help ensure that there are no negative impacts on Baby

Fast and easy-to-read results

Liars. The alcohol test strips for breast milk doesn’t remove the guesswork at all. It basically just confirms that yes, you have had some wine. Seriously. I had one glass of wine and the strip turned the dreaded grey color. It made me feel like crap, and I could not enjoy my wine the following night. What kind of shit is this?

Screen Shot 2013-10-28 at 2.31.16 PMI agree, Travis. What the hell?

 

Screen Shot 2013-10-28 at 2.33.11 PM

 

 

Really Beth? You had to drop by the reviews of a product you clearly have no intention of buying just to mommy-shame the rest of us boozers who clearly feel we deserve one stinking glass of wine without being made to feel like pariahs. Go away.

Here’s what Kelly Mom, the breastfeeding resource site, has to say about alcohol consumption and breast milk:

In general, if you are sober enough to drive, you are sober enough to breastfeed. Less than 2% of the alcohol consumed by the mother reaches her blood and milk. Alcohol peaks in mom’s blood and milk approximately 1/2-1 hour after drinking (but there is considerable variation from person to person, depending upon how much food was eaten in the same time period, mom’s body weight and percentage of body fat, etc.). Alcohol does not accumulate in breastmilk, but leaves the milk as it leaves the blood; so when your blood alcohol levels are back down, so are your milk alcohol levels.

Don’t be stupid like me. I have no intention of giving up my occasional glass of wine, so I don’t even know why I put myself through this. 17 bucks down the drain.

alcohol test strips for breast milk

(Image: iStock / alex_ugalek; originally published on Oct 28, 2013 )