Screen Shot 2015-10-22 at 16.22.23It is not possible in this day and age to go around being pregnant without people telling you what to do. If you do not exercise, people will yell at you to exercise. If you put on weight, people will slam you for putting on too much weight. If you stay relatively slim, people will harangue you for not putting on enough weight. You cannot win if you are a woman and pregnant. One woman has gotten an earful this week after videos of her dancing while pregnant came out, and now armchair OBGYNs are insisting that if she does not stop popping that booty, she will shake that fetus right out of her uterus.

The pearl-clutching busybodies would be comical if they were not so infuriating. Perfectly healthy 28-year-old Christina Litle, who has already carried and delivered two healthy children, was captured on video taking part in a hip-hop dance performance while seven months pregnant. The video was posted to YouTube, and commenters lost their minds about how she was endangering the unborn or some other such nonsense.

It’s a pretty darn gentle routine, too. At the beginning there’s one squatting move the rest of the group does that Litle appears to abstain from, and the rest is mostly just some regular old shimmying and dancing. She’s not doing Cirque du Soleil here. Litle has some moves, for sure, and rhythm that my 15-months postpartum self envies deeply, but this video does not show a woman stretching the human body to the extremes of its capacity. She’s literally just doing a little dance. It looks like fun. She’s fine.

The criticism she got for dancing in public while pregnant is comical in its absurdity.

“She’s going to detach her placenta from the umbilical cord, she needs to calm down,” said one person, who I would bet $100 does not have a medical degree. If you could detach a placenta from an umbilical cord by doing a little dance, I’m pretty sure all OBGYNs would be telling us to stand perfectly still and not to let too much time pass before going to the bathroom.

Another commenter said Litle’s dance routine could give her fetus shaken baby syndrome, which is so absurd that I laughed hard enough to an in-utero fetus shaken-baby syndrome, except that is not even remotely possible. Litle’s fetus is hanging out in a big bag full of amniotic fluid well inside her body. I’d be willing to go out on a limb and say that anything she could do that would give her fetus “shaken baby syndrome” would probably kill her first. Popping her booty a couple times is not going to do anything.

Litle looks completely fine. I envy her moves. I did not have her moves while pregnant. I did not have her moves while I was 17 and attempting to grind at prom. Litle’s just a good dancer who happens to be hosting a fetus at the moment, and she’s not doing anything that requires the Internet to climb into her uterus.

Litle has a doctor, as most pregnant women do. And the general guideline is that anything a person can comfortably do while not pregnant, she can generally do while pregnant. If there are exceptions, those will be determined between the doctor and the pregnant lady. Everybody needs to stop riding shotgun in pregnant ladies’ uteruses.

Check out Litle’s dance routine here, though if you are clumsy like me it might make you feel a bit bad about your own lack of rhythm:

(Photo: Youtube)